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Region: Spiritus

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I love dissolving the government!

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Post self-deleted by The Salaxalans.

So do I! :D

Come on down to the constitutional convention everyone! We're starting over, anyone can get involved!

Also, [nation=short]Alekseandrea[/nation], seems like your Warlord of the Hobo Squids title is gone... You'll have to post a claim somewhere! :P

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea

The Salaxalans wrote:Hey everyone, weird things are happening in the region! :P Take a look! http://w11.zetaboards.com/Spiritus/topic/30163759/1/

You're lucky that I can't dislike this post.

*grumble grumble*

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated

The Salaxalans wrote:So do I! :D

Come on down to the constitutional convention everyone! We're starting over, anyone can get involved!

Also, [nation=short]Alekseandrea[/nation], seems like your Warlord of the Hobo Squids title is gone... You'll have to post a claim somewhere! :P

Or this one...

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated

I got this as issue:

When a blind man and his guide Tortoise were recently refused service in Echo base restaurant ‘The Haute Potato’, it started a heated debate that few had seen coming.

This does not mean @Salaxans uses mind control.

Honest.

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated

Alekseandrea wrote:I got this as issue:

When a blind man and his guide Tortoise were recently refused service in Echo base restaurant ‘The Haute Potato’, it started a heated debate that few had seen coming.

This does not mean @Salaxans uses mind control.

Honest.

My favorite issue is the one about the guy who becomes his own country.

Matrixulated, Alekseandrea

Itrosomia wrote:My favorite issue is the one about the guy who becomes his own country.

The one with the separatist groups?

Matrixulated

The Parron Republic wrote:The one with the separatist groups?

The one where he killed a mailman because he didn't go through customs.

Matrixulated

Though I live beneath a roof, I never seem to dry. If you will only hold me, I swear I will not lie. What am I?

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:Though I live beneath a roof, I never seem to dry. If you will only hold me, I swear I will not lie. What am I?

A tounge

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:A tounge

correct. ready for the next?

Sons Of Culveria wrote:correct. ready for the next?

Me first

Question: When my first is a task to a young girl of spirit,

And my second confines her to finish the piece,

How hard is her fate! But how great is her merit

If by taking my whole she effects her release

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:Me first

Question: When my first is a task to a young girl of spirit,

And my second confines her to finish the piece,

How hard is her fate! But how great is her merit

If by taking my whole she effects her release

hemlock

I can bring tears to your eyes and a smile to your face. I form in an instant and last for a lifetime, but I can be forgotten. What am I?

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Itrosomia

Sons Of Culveria wrote:hemlock

I can bring tears to your eyes and a smile to your face. I form in an instant and last for a lifetime, but I can be forgotten. What am I?

A memory

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Alone I am 24th, with a friend I am 20. Another friend and I am unclean. What am I?

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:Alone I am 24th, with a friend I am 20. Another friend and I am unclean. What am I?

the letter 'x'

No legs have I to dance, no lungs have I to breathe, no life have I to live or die and yet I do all three. What am I?

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:the letter 'x'

No legs have I to dance, no lungs have I to breathe, no life have I to live or die and yet I do all three. What am I?

Fire

My first is often at the front door.

My second is found in the cereal family.

My third is what most people want.

My whole is one of the united states.

What am I?

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:Fire

My first is often at the front door.

My second is found in the cereal family.

My third is what most people want.

My whole is one of the united states.

What am I?

matrimony

I am weightless, but you can see me. Put me in a bucket, and I'll make it lighter. What am I?

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:matrimony

I am weightless, but you can see me. Put me in a bucket, and I'll make it lighter. What am I?

A hole

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sum Sam and Product Pete are in class when their teacher gives Sam the Sum of two numbers and Pete the product of the same two numbers (these numbers are greater than or equal to 2). They must figure out the two numbers.

Sam: I don't know what the numbers are Pete.

Pete: I knew you didn't know the numbers... But neither do I.

Sam: In that case, I do know the numbers.

What are the numbers?

Itrosomia wrote:Sum Sam and Product Pete are in class when their teacher gives Sam the Sum of two numbers and Pete the product of the same two numbers (these numbers are greater than or equal to 2). They must figure out the two numbers.

Sam: I don't know what the numbers are Pete.

Pete: I knew you didn't know the numbers... But neither do I.

Sam: In that case, I do know the numbers.

What are the numbers?

3 and 4

After a fall I will take over. All life will stall or at least grow slower. What am I?

Sons Of Culveria wrote:3 and 4

After a fall I will take over. All life will stall or at least grow slower. What am I?

Winter

500 is at my end and my start, yet 5 is at my heart.

The first letter and the first number make me complete.

My name is that of a king.1

What am I?

Jack is taking a tour through a museum's American Presidents exhibit. The person leading the tour tells him "We have a picture of each presidency. Currently Donald Trump is the 44th person to hold the office." But Jack quickly realizes that there are 45 pictures on the wall. But while walking through the exhibit he realizes why this is.

Why is there one too many photos?

Itrosomia wrote:Winter

500 is at my end and my start, yet 5 is at my heart.

The first letter and the first number make me complete.

My name is that of a king.1

What am I?

DAVID

I have a little house in which I live all alone. It has no doors or windows, and if I want to go out I must break through the wall.

Sons Of Culveria wrote:DAVID

I have a little house in which I live all alone. It has no doors or windows, and if I want to go out I must break through the wall.

A chick in an egg

alright my riddles have gotten boring.

I gtg.

It's been fun riddling.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:I gtg.

It's been fun riddling.

same to you, farewell. anyone want to hear some puns?

Sons Of Culveria wrote:same to you, farewell. anyone want to hear some puns?

This diplomat is willing to hear of your jokes.

~Sto-Al Zahir

The Parron Republic wrote:This diplomat is willing to hear of your jokes.

~Sto-Al Zahir

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Sons Of Culveria wrote:I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.

I was going to tell you a joke about sodium hydroxide but...NaH

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Itrosomia wrote:I was going to tell you a joke about sodium hydroxide but...NaH

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Sons Of Culveria wrote:Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Itrosomia wrote:Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Sons Of Culveria wrote:Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink

Some people think puns are cheesy but I think they are grate

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Itrosomia wrote:Some people think puns are cheesy but I think they are grate

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Sons Of Culveria wrote:Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

How did I escape Iraq? Iran.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

I hate insects puns, they really bug me.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

I would give you a nasty look for your bad puns but you already have one.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

man ive really gotten you to spam havent i itrosomia? my influence does spread. ive corrupted itrosomia with riddles, jokes, puns, and spamming

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

My math teacher called me average. How mean!

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:man ive really gotten you to spam havent i itrosomia? my influence does spread. ive corrupted itrosomia with riddles, jokes, puns, and spamming

It's just spamtastic.

Also I spammed before I got here

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:I would give you a nasty look for your bad puns but you already have one.

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:I hate insects puns, they really bug me.

The developers of a game called "ant empires" said that bugs are to be reported, in the end, the inboxes of the developers were flooded with emails.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:It's just spamtastic.

Also I spammed before I got here

i think are puns are too punny for jon, hes disappeared

The Parron Republic wrote:The developers of a game called "ant empires" said that bugs are to be reported, in the end, the inboxes of the developers were flooded with emails.

wait hes back

The Parron Republic wrote:The developers of a game called "ant empires" said that bugs are to be reported, in the end, the inboxes of the developers were flooded with emails.

was that your attempt at a pun?

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

Sons Of Culveria wrote:i think are puns are too punny for jon, hes disappeared

Just as you said it...

What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

I am so poor I can't even pay attention.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Oh god all the puns

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

I've just written a song about tortillas - actually, it's more of a rap.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Asmovia wrote:Oh god all the puns

its like theirs two sans having a pun battle

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Is old rope good enough for a hanging? Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:was that your attempt at a pun?

I thik I m intoxicatid

I cant evn write ploperly, I am skiping leters now

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Gtg for like five minutes. I'm taking a test.

My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

*facedesks* Why?!

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

You need something to cool you down, try this voidrunner stew.

~Sto-Al Zahir

What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Fishermen are reel men.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Battlegrounds

I felt it wasn't worth reading through 120 messages from this weekend...what happened?

The Battlegrounds wrote:*facedesks* Why?!

The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the hole business

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

The Battlegrounds wrote:I felt it wasn't worth reading through 120 messages from this weekend...what happened?

25 are puns and riddles, 75 is everyone else

Sons Of Culveria wrote:The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the hole business

Don't even make me bring up the girl with one leg who works at IHop.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:25 are puns and riddles, 75 is everyone else

And 20 of mysteries.

The Battlegrounds wrote:Don't even make me bring up the girl with one leg who works at IHop.

I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Oh, and because of the spam, this news was 2 years late...

Drakonic Uprising quelled

The Battlegrounds wrote:And 20 of mysteries.

mysteries?

Sons Of Culveria wrote:mysteries?

I said 120 messages. Your post only added up to 100 even.

The Parron Republic wrote:Oh, and because of the spam, this news was 2 years late...

Drakonic Uprising quelled

you spelled draconic wrong

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

The Battlegrounds wrote:I said 120 messages. Your post only added up to 100 even.

ohhh maybe itrosomia and i made more then we thought

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Assembled with Dot's Region Saver.
Written by Refuge Isle.