Post Archive
Region: Spiritus
I love dissolving the government!
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Post self-deleted by The Salaxalans.
So do I! :D
Come on down to the constitutional convention everyone! We're starting over, anyone can get involved!
Also, [nation=short]Alekseandrea[/nation], seems like your Warlord of the Hobo Squids title is gone... You'll have to post a claim somewhere! :P
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea
You're lucky that I can't dislike this post.
*grumble grumble*
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated
Or this one...
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated
I got this as issue:
When a blind man and his guide Tortoise were recently refused service in Echo base restaurant The Haute Potato, it started a heated debate that few had seen coming.
This does not mean @Salaxans uses mind control.
Honest.
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated
My favorite issue is the one about the guy who becomes his own country.
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea
The one with the separatist groups?
Matrixulated
The one where he killed a mailman because he didn't go through customs.
Matrixulated
Though I live beneath a roof, I never seem to dry. If you will only hold me, I swear I will not lie. What am I?
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
A tounge
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
correct. ready for the next?
Me first
Question: When my first is a task to a young girl of spirit,
And my second confines her to finish the piece,
How hard is her fate! But how great is her merit
If by taking my whole she effects her release
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
hemlock
I can bring tears to your eyes and a smile to your face. I form in an instant and last for a lifetime, but I can be forgotten. What am I?
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Itrosomia
A memory
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Alone I am 24th, with a friend I am 20. Another friend and I am unclean. What am I?
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
the letter 'x'
No legs have I to dance, no lungs have I to breathe, no life have I to live or die and yet I do all three. What am I?
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Fire
My first is often at the front door.
My second is found in the cereal family.
My third is what most people want.
My whole is one of the united states.
What am I?
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
matrimony
I am weightless, but you can see me. Put me in a bucket, and I'll make it lighter. What am I?
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
A hole
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Sum Sam and Product Pete are in class when their teacher gives Sam the Sum of two numbers and Pete the product of the same two numbers (these numbers are greater than or equal to 2). They must figure out the two numbers.
Sam: I don't know what the numbers are Pete.
Pete: I knew you didn't know the numbers... But neither do I.
Sam: In that case, I do know the numbers.
What are the numbers?
3 and 4
After a fall I will take over. All life will stall or at least grow slower. What am I?
Winter
500 is at my end and my start, yet 5 is at my heart.
The first letter and the first number make me complete.
My name is that of a king.1
What am I?
Jack is taking a tour through a museum's American Presidents exhibit. The person leading the tour tells him "We have a picture of each presidency. Currently Donald Trump is the 44th person to hold the office." But Jack quickly realizes that there are 45 pictures on the wall. But while walking through the exhibit he realizes why this is.
Why is there one too many photos?
DAVID
I have a little house in which I live all alone. It has no doors or windows, and if I want to go out I must break through the wall.
A chick in an egg
alright my riddles have gotten boring.
I gtg.
It's been fun riddling.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
same to you, farewell. anyone want to hear some puns?
This diplomat is willing to hear of your jokes.
~Sto-Al Zahir
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
I was going to tell you a joke about sodium hydroxide but...NaH
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Some people think puns are cheesy but I think they are grate
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Q: What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? A: Guardians of the Galaxy.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
When notes get in treble, bass-ically they get put behind bars. The alto-nate punishment is to push them off a clef and hope they land flat on sharp objects.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
I hate insects puns, they really bug me.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
I would give you a nasty look for your bad puns but you already have one.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
man ive really gotten you to spam havent i itrosomia? my influence does spread. ive corrupted itrosomia with riddles, jokes, puns, and spamming
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
It's just spamtastic.
Also I spammed before I got here
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
The developers of a game called "ant empires" said that bugs are to be reported, in the end, the inboxes of the developers were flooded with emails.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
i think are puns are too punny for jon, hes disappeared
wait hes back
was that your attempt at a pun?
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
Just as you said it...
What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn't around? Holmeless.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
I am so poor I can't even pay attention.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Oh god all the puns
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic
I've just written a song about tortillas - actually, it's more of a rap.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
The roundest knight at king Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
its like theirs two sans having a pun battle
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Is old rope good enough for a hanging? Frayed knot. That stuff is bad noose.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
I put the "fun" in dysfunctional.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
I thik I m intoxicatid
I cant evn write ploperly, I am skiping leters now
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Gtg for like five minutes. I'm taking a test.
My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
*facedesks* Why?!
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
You need something to cool you down, try this voidrunner stew.
~Sto-Al Zahir
What do sea monsters eat for lunch? Fish and ships.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Fishermen are reel men.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Your gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Battlegrounds
I felt it wasn't worth reading through 120 messages from this weekend...what happened?
The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the hole business
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
25 are puns and riddles, 75 is everyone else
Don't even make me bring up the girl with one leg who works at IHop.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
And 20 of mysteries.
I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Oh, and because of the spam, this news was 2 years late...
Drakonic Uprising quelled
mysteries?
I said 120 messages. Your post only added up to 100 even.
you spelled draconic wrong
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
ohhh maybe itrosomia and i made more then we thought
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Assembled with Dot's Region Saver.
Written by Refuge Isle.