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Region: Spiritus

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Alekseandrea wrote:You can't link directly to youtube from the RMB, you can only do it in dispatches, the forums and perhaps somewhere else I forgot.

So you'll just have copy it and paste it as address in one of your browsers tabs.

i did. youtube does not work on this.

JUST EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FEMALE HUMAN!!! *Siri is watching me amusedly*

Culveria wrote:JUST EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FEMALE HUMAN!!! *Siri is watching me amusedly*

Did you have interspecies coitus with that human? Do you understand how human biology works, and do I need to explain it to you?

Culveria wrote:JUST EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FEMALE HUMAN!!! *Siri is watching me amusedly*

This is goig to come out: http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/aliens/images/1/1e/Alien_chestburster.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20080210191818

Honest.

Russinadia wrote:Did you have interspecies coitus with that human? Do you understand how human biology works, and do I need to explain it to you?

Oh my.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation] with ma' potato bread buns*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Potatogion wrote:Oh my.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation] with ma' potato bread buns*

Encrypted Message to Potatogion

Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak!

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Russinadia wrote:*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Hak! Hak! Hak!...........CLICK!

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated

Russinadia wrote:Did you have interspecies coitus with that human? Do you understand how human biology works, and do I need to explain it to you?

huh? what are you talking about? wait a second......... *thinks then looks at Siri and swirls a finger around in the air as i think and things click into place in my head* WAIT A SECOND YOU MEAN TO SAY THERES A MINI GODLING IN THERE!?!?!?! *points at her belly in which she starts to quietly giggle* wait have i been calling her human again? i mean to say goddess. in her world shes the goddess of dragons.

Faulknation

Culveria wrote:huh? what are you talking about? wait a second......... *thinks then looks at Siri and swirls a finger around in the air as i think and things click into place in my head* WAIT A SECOND YOU MEAN TO SAY THERES A MINI GODLING IN THERE!?!?!?! *points at her belly in which she starts to quietly giggle* wait have i been calling her human again? i mean to say goddess. in her world shes the goddess of dragons.

Hak. Hak.

Culveria wrote:huh? what are you talking about? wait a second......... *thinks then looks at Siri and swirls a finger around in the air as i think and things click into place in my head* WAIT A SECOND YOU MEAN TO SAY THERES A MINI GODLING IN THERE!?!?!?! *points at her belly in which she starts to quietly giggle* wait have i been calling her human again? i mean to say goddess. in her world shes the goddess of dragons.

That might make sense, but what will your wife think? Seeing as how you impregnated another woman.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Faulknation

Parrona wrote:Encrypted Message to Potatogion

Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak! Hak!

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Is this the new "places another post"?

If it is, I'm in.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

Russinadia wrote:That might make sense, but what will your wife think? Seeing as how you impregnated another woman.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

CLICK..........CLICK...........CLICK...........CLICK!

Potatogion wrote:*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Is this the new "places another post"?

If it is, I'm in.

I think it very well might be.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

Potatogion wrote:*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Is this the new "places another post"?

If it is, I'm in.

Click!

Russinadia wrote:I think it very well might be.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Hak! Hak!

Translation: prey spotted!

The Salaxalans

Post self-deleted by Russinadia.

Oh what the f*ck [nation=short]russinadia[/nation]!?!? Is that Shrek?

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Potatogion wrote:Oh what the f*ck [nation=short]russinadia[/nation]!?!? Is that Shrek?

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Shrek 4

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCM4wqAZRx2yFV1MQVqTg8Uw

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Potatogion wrote:Oh what the f*ck [nation=short]russinadia[/nation]!?!? Is that Shrek?

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Potatogion wrote:Why man, why?

Potatogion wrote:*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Russinadia wrote:https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCM4wqAZRx2yFV1MQVqTg8Uw

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Russinadia wrote:Shrek 4

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Click!

Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Russinadia wrote:[spoiler]Once upon a time, a long time ago,

a king and queen had a

beautiful daughter named Fiona.

But she was possessed

by a terrible curse.

By day, a lovely princess.

By night, a hideous ogre.

Only true love's kiss

could lift her curse.

So Fiona waited in a tower,

guarded by a dragon, until the day

when her true love would arrive.

But as the days turned into years,

the King and Queen were forced

to resort to more desperate measures.

Whoa, there.

I don't know about this, Lillian.

Fairy Godmother said only true love's

kiss could break Fiona's curse.

I don't trust that woman, Harold.

This may be our last hope.

Besides, he does come

highly recommended by King Midas.

But to put our daughter's life

in the hands of this... person?

He's devious.

He's deceitful. He's, he's...

Rumpelstiltskin!

Mrs. Highness.

How do you do?

Down, Fifi. Get down!

As you can see, everything's in order.

So you'll put an end

to our daughter's curse?

And, in return, you sign the kingdom

of Far Far Away over to me.

- Lillian, this is madness!

- What choice do we have?

Fiona has been locked away

in that tower far too long.

It's not like she's getting any younger.

But to sign over our entire kingdom?

Well, if your kingdom's worth

more to you than your daughter...

Nothing is worth more to us

than our daughter.

Jump, Fifi, jump!

Just sign it and all your problems

will disappear.

Your Highness! The Princess!

She's been saved!

Who saved her?

No one would have guessed

that an ogre named Shrek,

whose roar was feared

throughout the land,

would save the beautiful Princess Fiona.

True love's kiss led to marriage

and ogre babies!

The kingdom of Far Far Away

was finally at peace.

Goody for them!

And they lived happily ever after!

Sir? You're gonna

have to pay for that.

Maybe we could make a deal

for it, little boy?

- Oh, I'm not a real boy.

- Do you want to be?

Nobody needs your deals

anymore, Grumpel Stinkypants!

I wish that ogre was never born!

Wake up, Daddy, wake up!

- Good morning.

- Good morning to you.

Better out than in.

That's my line.

Did my little Fergus make a...

...big, grownup ogre stink?!

Oh, that's diabolical!

And on your left, the lovable lug

that showed us you don't have to

change your undies

to change the world!

I wonder what Shrek's up to in there.

Get in there. Get...

Impossible to put on!

OK, the dragon goes under the bridge,

through the loop...

...and finally, into the castle.

Play date!

Then Shrek kissed the Princess.

She turned into a beautiful ogre

and they lived...

Happily...

- Ever...

- After.

Look! A shooting star!

So, what did you wish for?

That every day could be like this one.

Come here, you.

Morning, Daddy.

Morning.

Better out than in.

Did my little Fergus make a...

Cute. Real cute.

This lovable lug taught us

you don't have to change

your undies to change the world!

Play date!

Shrek! The outhouse is clogged up!

She turned into a beautiful ogre

and they lived...

- Happily...

- Ever...

After?

- Daddy, get up!

- Morning.

- Better out than in.

- This lovable lug...

- Play date!

- No!

Outhouse again!

Come on.

Undies!

Outhouse!

- Get up, get up!

- And they lived...

- Happily...

- Ever...

After.

Roar.

Nice landing, baby.

Hey! Now remember, don't eat the valet.

Happy birthday, nios!

Vamos a la fiesta!

Hey, Shrek, Shrek!

Mr. Shrek, would you

sign our pitchforks?

And our torches?

Oh, man, you used to be so fierce!

Yeah, when you were a real ogre!

A real ogre?

Shrek, it's a sing-along.

You've got to sing along!

- No, thanks.

- Please? I'll be your best friend.

Why does being your best friend entail

me doing everything I don't want to do?

Please, Felicia, not in Daddy's ear.

Excuse me, Mr. Shrek?

Could you do that

ogre roar of yours for my son?

He's a big, big fan.

Do the roar.

You know, I'd rather not.

It's my kids' birthday party.

- Do the roar.

- Honey?

Why don't you go check on the cake?

- Sure.

- And don't forget the candles.

Hold still.

Thanks for the pants, Muffin Man.

I always wanted chaps!

Yee-haw! Giddy up!

- Monsieur Shrek.

- Howdy, Shrek!

Your cake. Voil!

- What is that supposed to be?

- That's Sprinkles the Ogre!

Isn't he cute? He looks just like you.

But happy. It's a party, Shrek.

You gotta cheer up!

I'm in a great mood, actually.

- Oh, I'm gonna lick me a rainbow!

- Donkey!

As long as you're not doing anything,

how about one of those

famous Shrek roars?

- Do the roar.

- Let me set you straight, Butter Pants.

An ogre only roars when he's angry.

You don't want to see me angry, do you?

Do it.

Hold it together. Just hold it together.

Daddy, he's getting away. Do something.

Oh, good.

- What happened to the cake?

- Trust me. It's an improvement.

- You licked it!

- No.

Just because you're an ogre,

doesn't mean you have to eat like one.

Looks like you forgot the candles!

OK, just watch the cake.

I'll go get them.

Watch the cake?

- Where's the cake?!

- We ate the cake.

- Ya.

- What?

No, don't cry.

Hey! I believe you

promised my son a roar.

- Do the roar.

- Roar.

- I don't like it.

- Pigs, we need another cake.

- We ate the other cakes.

- One roar, man.

Hey, everybody!

Shrek's gonna do his famous ogre roar!

Not now, Donkey.

Pigs, are there any cupcakes?

- We ate them, too.

- They have lollipops.

No, I ate them.

- You didn't share?

- Well, you didn't share the croissants!

- Everything's gonna be OK.

- Shrek, what's going on?

- Come on, Shrek, your fans are waiting!

- Do the roar.

We need the cake!

Cake! Cake! Cake!

I love you, Daddy.

Everybody, I have found another cake!

Shrek? Are you OK?

- Unbelievable.

- Tell me about it! Those villagers...

I'm not talking about the villagers,

Shrek. I'm talking about you.

Is this really how you want

to remember the kids' first birthday?

- Oh, great. So this is all my fault?

- Yes. But you know what?

Let's talk about this

after the party, at home.

You mean that roadside

attraction we live in?

Step right up! See the dancing ogre!

Don't worry! He won't bite!

I used to be an ogre.

Now I'm just a jolly green joke!

OK, OK, maybe you're not

the ogre you used to be.

But maybe that's not such a bad thing.

I wouldn't expect you to understand.

It's not like you're a real ogre.

You spent half your life in a palace.

And the other half

locked away in a tower.

Look, all I want is for things to go

back to the way they used to be!

Back when villagers were afraid of me,

and I could take a mud bath in peace.

When I could do what I wanted,

when I wanted to do it!

Back when the world made sense!

You mean back before you

rescued me from the Dragon's Keep?

Exactly!

Shrek, you have

three beautiful children,

a wife who loves you,

friends who adore you.

You have everything.

Why is it the only person

who can't see that is you?

That's just great.

If she thinks I'm gonna

slink back there and apologize,

she's got another thing coming.

She's not the boss of me.

I'm an ogre and I'm not gonna apologize

for acting like one.

Help, please!

Someone, anyone at all, help me!

Please, help!

Please, help!

I'm stuck! Help!

Oh, please, help!

Someone, anyone! Help me!

The pain! I can see

a bright light. A tunnel!

Grandma? Is that you?

Yeah, it's me, Granny.

An ogre! Please, Mr. Ogre,

please don't eat me!

I'm not gonna eat you.

But you are an ogre... Aren't you?

Yeah, well, I... I used to be.

Look, move out or get crushed.

So you're not gonna eat me?

No, thanks. I already had a big bowl

of curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.

Wait up! What's your rush?

Where you going?

Nowhere.

What a coincidence!

I was just heading that way myself.

But, seriously,

let me give you a ride. I insist.

Come on. It's the least I can do

after all you've done for me.

I got a hot rat cooking.

All right! Can I interest you

in a mudslide? Slug and tonic?

A liquid libation

to ease that frustration?

- Eyeball-tini?

- Well, maybe just one.

So the centaur says,

"That's not the half I'm talking about. "

I gotta say, Shrek, I envy you.

To live the life of an ogre...

no worries, no responsibilities.

You are free to pillage

and terrorize as you please.

- Free? That's a laugh.

- Oh, yeah?

Sometimes I wish I had just one day

to feel like a real ogre again.

Why didn't you say so?

Magical transactions are my specialty!

Great. Next to mimes,

magicians are my favourite people.

Hold on.

"King for a Month. "

"Knight for a Week. "

Ogre for a day.

Think about it, Shrek.

To be feared and hated.

You'll be, like, "Roar!"

And the villagers will be, like, "Get

away! It's Shrek! I'm so scared of him!"

It would be just like the good old days,

when your swamp was your castle.

- When the world made sense.

- All right, what's the catch?

Catch? No. There's no catch.

No catchings, really.

I mean, there's something.

Small thing. Nothing. A little thing.

All right, I knew it.

So what do you want?

- A day.

- A day.

Rat's done!

To make the magic work, you gotta

give something to get something.

In this case, you gotta

give a day to get a day. That's all.

I can't just pick up

and leave my family.

But that's the best part, Shrek!

It's a magical contract.

No one will even know you're gone.

And by the time this day is up,

you are gonna feel like a changed ogre.

Still, I don't know.

Hey, no problem.

Forget it, no big D. Doesn't matter.

Do you like white meat or dark meat?

So what day would I have to give up?

I don't know, any day.

A day from your past.

A day you had the flu?

A day you lost a pet?

A day some meddling oaf

stuck his nose where it didn't belong

destroying your business

and ruining your life?!

Just for an example.

How about the day I met Donkey?

Now, there's a day

I'd like to take back.

I don't know who that is.

I know. What about a day

you wouldn't even remember?

Like a day when you were a baby.

- An innocent, mindless little baby.

- Take any of those days you want.

- Take them all for all I care.

- Oh, just one will do.

OK, good.

A day from your childhood it is.

I guess there's nothing wrong

with wanting a little time for myself.

Just 24 tiny little hours.

- I'm still my own ogre!

- Yeah, you is!

I never needed to ask

for anyone's permission before.

So why start now?

Go on, Shrek.

Sign it!

Go on, Shrek.

Sign it, Shrek! Sign it!

You signed it.

So, tell me. What happens now?

Have a nice day.

I think I fell on my keys.

There are 40 children in that shoe,

which is why the weasel

goes pop to this very day.

Oh, great.

As we head over the river

and through the woods...

Ogre!

Kill the ogre! Kill the ogre!

This is the part where you run away!

Sure is great to be wanted again.

Nice one.

Fiona?

Oh, no.

My home.

Fiona!

Fiona! Are you in there?!

All right, Rumpel!

This wasn't part of the deal!

Rumpel!

Ogre!

We've got another one, ladies! Get him!

Who are you?!

What are you doing in my swamp?

Looks like a troublemaker!

Spread 'em!

Nice job, ladies!

You witches are making a big mistake!

I know my rights!

You have the right to shut your mouth!

Donkey, stop with the singing, will you?

Donkey!

Donkey, where am I? What's happening?

Quiet down there! Oh, I hate this song.

I'm driving,

so I'm in charge of the music.

Will you witches make up your mind?

Donkey? What's going on?

Do you know where Fiona is?

Quiet, ogre! You're gonna get me

in trouble and I need this job.

I am not going back to work

for Old MacDonald.

Tell me to E-I-E-I-O.

"E-I-E-I-No!" That's what I said.

Where are my babies?

And where's your wife, Dragon?

Look, I think you have me confused

with some other talking donkey.

I've never seen you before in my life.

Never seen me before?

Come on, Donkey!

And how do you

know my name anyway?

It's me, Shrek. Your best friend?

A donkey and an ogre friends?

That's the most

ridiculous thing I ever heard!

Can you at least tell me

where they're taking me?

To the same place they take

every ogre. To Rumpelstiltskin.

- Stiltskin!

- I said quiet!

Oh, no.

It's time to crumble!

Place your bets!

Place your bets! We start tout de suite!

Yeah!

Gingy?

Gingy snap!

There's one!

Disgusting, filthy ogre!

Hideous monster!

Filthy, filthy creature!

Disgusting creature!

Move it!

Don't worry, Donkey.

I'll get us our lives back.

Yeah, right. Put a little mustard

on mine, Captain Crazy!

Mr. Stiltskin?

You got another customer.

- Wolfie!

- Yes, Mr. Stiltskin.

Bring me my business wig.

Mr. Stiltskin, please!

- OK, go.

- Please make me a real boy!

Go away! Terms are

in the details, balsa boy.

Sayonara, termites! Hello, acne!

Stiltskin!

Shrek!

There he is!

So close!

Have I been waiting for you!

Ladies, this is the guy

that made all of this possible!

So, tell me, how are you

enjoying your day?

All right, Rumpel, what's going on?

What have you done?

No, Shrek, it's not what I've done.

It's what you've done.

Thanks to you, the King and Queen

signed their kingdom over to me.

They would never do that.

They would if I promised them

all their problems would disappear.

And then they disappeared!

They would have done anything

if they thought it would

end their daughter's curse.

I ended Fiona's curse!

How could you when you never existed?

You better start making sense,

you dirty little man!

Here, let me spell it out for you!

You gave me a day from your past,

a day you couldn't even remember.

A day when you were

an innocent, mindless little baby.

You took the day I was born.

No, Shrek. You gave it to me.

Enjoy this while you can, Stiltskin,

because when this day is up...

But you haven't heard the best part.

Since you were never born, once

this day comes to an end, so will you.

Where's Fiona?

Where's my family?

Silly little ogre.

You don't get it, do you?

You see, you were never born.

You never met Fiona.

Your kids don't exist.

How's that for a metaphysical paradox?

Looks like you got

exactly what you wanted!

- Happy Ogre Day!

- Rumpel!

Get him, witches!

You know what'd help morale

around here? Flip-flop Fridays.

Feet be comfortable

with the breeze on your toes.

Come on, girls!

Lock all the doors,

you worthless witches! Do it!

I'll be right back, Donkey!

I don't know you! I don't know him!

I'm glad I'm not you.

Help me! Help!

Help!

No, not my pretty ball!

Watch out!

Wolfie?

My angry wig.

Help! I've been kidnapped

by a deranged, unbalanced ogre!

Donkey! Get off of me!

Watch it with your pointy hooves!

- Just take my wallet!

- Hey!

I'm being ass-napped!

Animal cruelty! Help!

You need to calm down!

I'm your friend.

I'm not gonna hurt you, all right?

Good. I'm gonna let go...

...right... now.

Please! Eat my face last!

Send my hooves to my mama!

Donkey! You've got to trust me.

- Why should I trust you?

- Because...

Because...

OK.

Fine! Go ahead!

Run away! Who needs you?

I've never seen an ogre cry.

I'm not crying.

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

I cry all the time.

Just thinking about my grandma,

or thinking about baby kittens,

or my grandma kissing a baby kitten,

or a little baby grandma kitten.

- That is so darn sad.

- I said, I'm not crying!

Take it easy, I'm only trying to help.

It's none of my business

why you're upset.

By the way, why are you upset?

I was tricked into signing something

I shouldn't have.

You signed up for one of them

time-shares, huh?

No. I signed this.

You should never sign a contract

with Rumpelstiltskin!

Yeah, I got that.

- His fine print is crafty.

- I know.

- His exit clauses are sneaky.

- Yeah, I...

- What did you say?

- I'm talking about the exit clause.

Used to be, you had to guess his name,

but now everybody knows

who Rumpelstiltskin is.

Donkey, I've read the fine print.

There's nothing

about an exit clause in here.

Well, you didn't expect him

to make it easy for you.

Here, let me show you how it's done.

I didn't spend all that time

around them witches

without picking up a few tricks.

Your tiny, little ogre brain

couldn't begin to comprehend

the complexity

of my polygonic foldability skills.

What are you doing?

Hey, I can't get my origami on

unless you back off.

Thank you. OK, here's what you

gotta do. You fold this piece here,

make this letter match up here,

bring this corner here,

and if you do it just right,

it will show you what to do. There!

"Try Lou's Bliss. "

Who's Lou?

Give me that!

"True Love's Kiss. "

You have to take me to dinner first.

"According to fairy tale law,

if not fully satisfied,

true love's kiss will render

this contract null and void. "

Donkey, you did it! Look at you!

If Fiona and I share true love's kiss,

I will get my life back!

OK! This isn't a petting zoo!

So where is this Fiona?

Well, that's just it, you see.

I don't know.

You know, when I lose something,

I always try to retrace my steps.

So... where did you leave her last?

The last time I saw her,

I told her I wished

I'd never rescued her.

- Oh, no.

- Shrek?

Shrek! Shrek, wait! Wait, Shrek!

What, are you crazy?

That's the Dragon's Keep!

They keep dragons in there!

OK, yeah, fine! Go ahead!

I'm gonna just hang back here

and find us some breakfast!

Fiona!

Oh, no.

If I didn't save Fiona...

...then who did?

This is the favour Fiona was

supposed to give me on the day we met.

It's a symbol of our love.

Now smell it!

Hey, man, get that dirty

favour out of my face!

Your nose is the only chance

I have of tracking down my wife,

so stop complaining and start smelling.

Smell it! Get it! Away you go, girl!

Do I look like a bloodhound to you?

In case you haven't noticed,

I'm a donkey, not a dog!

If I was a dog, they'd call me Dog,

not Donkey!

And another thing...

Wait a minute.

I think I got something.

- Whatever it is, it's sweet.

- Fiona.

Luscious and tasty.

Hey! That's my wife

you're talking about.

Donkey!

Yeah! Waffles!

And I thought the Waffle Fairy

was just a bedtime story.

Sticky stacks of golden,

syrupy deliciousness!

Donkey! Don't eat that!

There's a stack of freshly made waffles

in the middle of the forest.

Don't you find that

a wee bit suspicious?

Oh, you... I'm just... What are you...?

Bad Donkey! Mustn't.

I said, don't! Don't!

No! Get away from it.

You did.

Look out!

Donkey!

- Are you OK?

- I'm fine.

Donkey.

Help! Help me!

Help, Shrek! Help!

Watch your head.

Hey, it's a new guy!

Look at him, all dressed up

in his Sunday vest.

He's really tiny, isn't he?

Yeah. Fate has delivered us

a comrade-in-arms

and for that, we are thankful.

Suit him up!

- Let's go, greenie.

- Now, wait a minute!

- Hey!

- Here you go.

- Welcome to the resistance.

- Resistance?

We fight for freedom

and ogres everywhere!

I didn't know we could do that.

Help! You can't eat me! I got the mange!

- I'm poisonous! I'm all poi...

- I'll take him! This order's to go.

Hey! I haven't removed his giblets yet.

Trust me, you don't want

to eat this one.

I go down smooth,

but come out fighting!

- Let go!

- Don't make Mama mad.

Your dinner is my friend!

- Come on, guys!

- I got to get the giblets out!

- She's back.

- There she is.

Fiona!

I'm so happy I found you!

Maybe you missed orientation,

but for future reference,

personal space is very important to me.

You don't know who I am, do you?

No.

Brogan, I have news from Far Far Away.

Gather the others

and meet me in the war room.

Gretched, make sure everyone

is prepared to move out tonight.

- I need to talk to you.

- What is it?

OK, I know you don't

remember me, but...

...we're married. Hear me out.

And at the birthday party

with some pigs and a puppet,

the villagers wanted me

to sign their pitchforks,

and this boy kept saying,

"Do the roar. "

Then I punched the cakes that the

pigs ate and the next thing I knew,

my donkey fell in your waffle hole.

Right? Who's with me?

I guess I must have kicked him

harder than I thought.

Fiona, I need to...

Witches! All right, everyone,

you know the drill!

- Fiona!

- Witches! Oh, no!

- Witches! Witches!

- Come on, now.

Fiona, that's the third patrol today.

We can't hide forever.

Trust me, Brogan.

After tonight, we won't have to.

- That's your wife?

- That's my wife.

Well, I see who wears the chain mail

in your family!

Some people like to look

at the goblet as... as half empty.

Me, I like to look at it as half full.

We've gone from the bottom

to the top, ladies.

But we're not just an empire.

We're a family.

Everyone has got their cupcake?

Cupcake, cupcake? Good. Yes? Baba?

Good.

Yeah, you know, we have

put away a lot of ogres.

And so one got away.

Who cares? It's not a big deal.

It doesn't matter to me.

It's not like it's the end of the world.

Except... funny thing.

Now that I think about it,

the ogre who got away is Shrek!

And if he shares a kiss

with Fiona by sunrise,

it is the end of the world! Our world!

My empire!

But, as I was saying,

I like to look at the goblet

as half full.

Yelling makes me so parched.

Would anyone care for some water?

Wet your whistle?

A clear, crisp, delicious glass...

...of agua purificada?

Anybody's thirsty?

Nobody's thirsty? No?

Well, then does anyone care to tell me

what it's going to take

to get this ogre? You.

Faster brooms?

- No!

- Pointier hats?

- No! You!

- Maybe we could hire

a professional bounty hunter?

What a world! What a world!

You know, actually

not a bad idea. Baba!

I need a bounty hunter.

And if music doth

soothe the savage beast...

...then I think I might know

just the person!

Listen up, everyone.

Word has come from Far Far Away.

Stiltskin is leading

tonight's ogre hunt himself.

- He's never done that before.

- What? Why?

I bet that's because of us.

If that cupcake-eating clown

finally leaves the safety

of his filthy witch nest...

...he'll be vulnerable.

The plan's simple.

If they follow the usual patrol route,

they'll reach the river by midnight.

We'll be concealed along this road,

waiting for his caravan.

Once they reach the clearing,

I'll give the signal.

And then we attack!

And when the smoke clears...

Wait, what's this?

That's my chimichanga stand.

No, Cookie. We won't be needing that.

Trust me, Fiona. Y'all gonna be

really hungry after this ambush, OK?

Go and finish your little speech.

All right, as I was saying,

when the smoke clears,

Rumpelstiltskin is gone

and the chimichangas have been eaten.

Far Far Away will finally be free.

- And so will we.

- Spread the word.

We move out as soon as

Rumpel leaves the palace.

- Man, this is serious!

- Tell me about it.

How am I ever gonna

get her to kiss me before sunrise?

Actually, I was talking

about the revolution.

Revolution?

Why don't you just

tell her what you told me?

About how you're her true love and

you came from an alternate universe.

Well, while I'm at it,

why don't I tell her

that you're married

to a fire-breathing dragon

and you have little, mutant

donkey-dragon babies.

I do?!

You saw what happened.

She's gonna think I'm crazy.

I'm a daddy?

You know what?

If I got Fiona to kiss me once...

...then I can do it again.

Shrek, do my babies

have hooves or talons?

Donkey...!

Hello?

Fiona?

You should not be here, seor.

Puss?

You've gotta be kidding me.

Feed me, if you dare.

Puss, what happened to you?

You got so fa...

...fancy.

- Do I know you?

Well, where's your hat?

Where's your belt?

Your wee little boots?

Boots? For a cat? Ha!

But you're Puss in Boots.

Maybe once.

But that is a name I have outgrown.

That's not the only thing

you've outgrown.

Hey! I may have let myself go

a little since retirement,

but hanging up my sword

was the best decision of my life.

I have all the cream I can drink

and all the mice I can chase.

I'll get him later.

Puss, what have I done to you?

You've gone soft.

Well, I do get brushed twice a day.

Look, it's not too late to fix it.

All you have to do is help me

get a kiss from Fiona.

What are you doing?

Can I help you with something?

Well, I know how stressful

mounting a rebellion can be...

...rallying the troops,

planning attacks,

so I brought you a little something

to ease the tension.

A gift basket?

You're welcome.

So let's see what you got.

Heart-shaped box of slugs.

Skunk-scented candle.

- Look, this really isn't the...

- What's this? Coupons!

Let's see,

"Good for one free foot massage. "

"A mud facial!"

Oh, and here's one...

"Good for one free kiss. "

Let's cash it now.

Look, I don't know

what this is all about,

but I'm trying to run a revolution.

So unless you have

Rumpelstiltskin's head in there,

I suggest you take your gift basket,

get out of my tent

and go make yourself useful!

Wow. You're right. I am sorry.

I was just trying to be friendly.

No hard feelings?

An apologetic hug?

And a quick kiss goodbye.

Hey!

Wait! Is that mistletoe I see?

Hey, Shrek! Are my babies cute, or do

they make people feel uncomfortable?

- Where'd we find that guy?

- Could it be true?

Have the years of prim

and pampery made me soft?

Don't be silly.

Now who's a pretty kitty?

I am.

Daddy thinks you look real nice, Fifi.

Honk.

All right, Piggies, be gone!

Don't forget to take

her little potty box with you.

This little piggy wants to go home!

- Mr. Stiltskin! He's here.

- Nice.

Pied Piper. How was your commute?

Good.

You call this guy a bounty hunter?

What's he gonna do,

flute those ogres a lullaby?

OK, got it!

Make it stop!

All right, that's enough.

Looks like it's time to pay the piper.

Griselda, seriously,

it's time to pay the piper.

Now go get my cheque book!

Go! Move! Get out!

Things are getting

real sloppy around here!

Here, now make sure they eat up!

You can't end tyranny on

an empty stomach! Go on! Go!

Din-din!

- Come on, Donkey.

- One more time, please?

All right, but this is the last time.

Here it comes. Look at him.

I see you!

That's quite a friend you've got there.

I can see why you haven't eaten him.

Donkey! I hate to pull you away

from your adoring public,

but I'm not getting anywhere with Fiona.

- I need your help!

- Hey, everybody. Who wants dessert?

- Where'd you get these?

- Fiona's garbage.

Just another gift from some

clueless lover boy.

That's a good one, Cookie!

Anyone who knows Fiona knows

this stuff ain't gonna work on her.

Works on me.

Donkey, what am I gonna do?

It's like I don't even know her.

You in trouble, Romeo. The only thing

Fiona cares about is her cause.

- To the cause!

- To the cause!

All right!

Hello!

- Nice moves.

- What are you doing?

What does it look like?

I'm getting ready for ambush action.

Oh, yeah.

I always like to quad my lutes

and do some scrunches

before an operational... op.

This one taken?

We use that to clean the toilets.

And we use that one to clean

the thing we clean the toilets with.

I knew that.

There you go, chief.

Hey... Scott?

My name is Shrek, actually.

You're going to get yourself killed

at the ambush tonight.

I'll be fine.

I think I can take care of myself...

Well, let's see about that.

Hey! Hey... Hey!

What the...?

Fiona?

I got it.

Give me your hand.

The dragon goes under the bridge,

through the loop and finally...

Into the castle.

Wow.

OK. Good.

It seems like you can handle yourself.

- But, Fiona...

- Go get ready for the mission!

- I will, but Fiona...

- That's an order!

All right, let's get those axes

sharpened and weapons packed!

Preparation is half the battle!

Ogre! Un momento! Un momento!

Ogre, ogre, un momento!

Just give me a minute.

Look, Puss, I'm a little

pressed for time.

I am not believing

what I have just witnessed.

Back there, you and Fiona.

There was a spark...

a spark inside her heart

I thought was long extinguished.

It was as if, for one moment,

Fiona had actually found her true love!

I am her true love. I ended her curse.

You know of her curse?

By day, one way, by night another.

This shall be the norm.

Until you find true love's first kiss...

...and then take love's true form.

You even know the little rhyme!

It is true! You are the one!

You must prove it to her!

- How?

- Convince her!

Go to her when she is alone

and tell her something

that only her true love would know.

Know about what?!

Whoa! That's a whole lot of kitty!

Shrek, can we keep him?

Excuse me. Coming through!

Pardon me, guys! Watch your back.

Look, Donkey,

the chimichanga cart! Quick!

ndale! After him, burro!

Donkey, vmonos!

Man, you are a cat-astrophe!

And you are ri-donkey-lous!

I'll scout ahead. Wait for my signal.

Secure your positions!

- It's quite a view from up here.

- What are you doing?!

Get back in position!

You need to know,

once and for all, who I really am.

You are going to ruin everything!

Ruin everything?

Actually, I'm gonna fix everything...

The ogres, Rumpel, your curse.

How do you know about my curse?!

OK, OK, please, Fiona...

Just hear me out.

I can explain everything.

- Where's Fiona's signal?

- What's she waiting for?

- He's going to get away!

- No, he's not.

Listen, I don't know who you are

or how you know about my curse,

but if any of these ogres

find out I'm...

- A beautiful princess?

- That is not who I am! Not anymore.

- Look, I know you're upset.

- You don't know anything about me.

I know everything about you.

I know you sing so beautifully

that birds explode.

- Big deal.

- I know that when you sign your name,

- you put a heart over the "I".

- So what?

I know that when

you see a shooting star,

you cross your fingers on both hands,

squinch up your nose

and you make a wish.

I know that you don't like the covers

wrapped around your feet,

and I know that you sleep by candlelight

because every time

you close your eyes...

...you're afraid you're gonna

wake up back in that tower.

But, most importantly, Fiona...

...I know that the reason

you turn human every day...

...is because you've

never been kissed...

...well...

...by me.

- You move fast.

- It's not me doing the moving.

- Why is this happening?!

- Love?

- No, I'm being forced to dance!

- By love!

No, I can't stop myself!

Please! Make it stop!

I can't control myself!

Yeah! Cookie's bringing

the heat out of the kitchen!

Oh, no! It's the Piper!

I can't believe I let this happen,

and it's all because of you!

- If you'd just let me kiss you!

- What? You're insane!

We must do something before

they fandango themselves into oblivion!

- What can we do?

- First, you must stop dancing!

When somebody tooties that fluty,

I got to shake my booty!

Then it's up to me!

Hurry! We must get them

away from the music!

Puss and Donkey to the rescue!

We saved the day!

Donkey... Can I borrow your tongue?

Say what?!

No. Hell...

I don't care how big your eyes get,

player, it's not going down.

All right!

Stop!

- Where are you going?

- To save my friends.

- How, by getting yourself killed?

- If that's what it takes.

Puss, say something.

- Puss?

- Let me explain.

That's how you knew so much about me.

- Fiona, wait! Kiss me.

- What?

It's the only way to save your friends.

Get out of my way.

You used to believe that a single kiss

could solve everything!

I don't understand.

This doesn't make any sense.

True love's kiss

was supposed to fix everything!

Yeah, you know,

that's what they told me, too.

True love didn't get me

out of that tower.

I did. I saved myself.

Don't you get it?

It's all just a big fairy tale.

Fiona, don't say that. It does exist!

How would you know?

Did you grow up locked away

in a dragon's keep?

Did you live all alone

in a miserable tower?

Did you cry yourself

to sleep every night,

waiting for a true love

that never came?!

But... But I'm your true love.

Then where were you

when I needed you?

Maybe you kissed her wrong?

No.

The kiss didn't work...

...because Fiona doesn't love me.

Don't despair, fellow ogres!

They can put us in cages,

but they can't cage our honour!

Shrek and Fiona are together?!

Yeah, I've heard enough of

your toot-a-lee-toots! You blew it!

Wolfie! My speech wig.

Baba! Ready my makeup.

And Piper, pull my socks up.

- Tight.

- Attention, citizens.

Please stay tuned for a message

from our tyrannical dictator!

Hello, people.

It is I, Rumpelstiltskin...

...shepherd of your dreams.

Recently, a certain somebody

has jeopardized our joyous lives.

And that somebody

is the rat-munching ogre called Shrek!

That is why I come to you,

dear citizens.

For whomever brings me this ogre,

shall receive the deal of a lifetime.

Just think of it! Total and

- complete happiness.

- Ya!

Dazzling, radiant fulfilment!

All your greatest wishes.

- Yeah!

- Your wildest dreams.

Anything you could ever want!

No strings attached!

But hurry, this is a limited time offer.

So light your torches, sharpen

your pitchforks and get your mob on!

Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

Go back where you came from!

It seems that we are safe.

Yeah, it looks a lot less pitchforky

and torchy out there. Let's go.

What's the point?

The kiss didn't work. It's over.

Look, Shrek, I know things

might seem a little bleak right now,

but things always work themselves

out in the end, you'll see.

- I bet by this time tomorrow...

- Don't you understand?

There is no tomorrow.

There's no day after that, and there's

no day after that day after that!

My life was perfect

and I'm never going to get it back!

If your life was so perfect, why'd you

sign it away to Rumpelstiltskin?

Because I didn't know

what I had until it was gone! All right?

I didn't know what I had.

Surrender now! I'm taking you in!

Don't try to fight it, ogre!

The reward is mine!

Gingy?

- You unhand me, green devil!

- What are you doing?

Collecting my bounty!

- Bounty?

- What are you talking about, cracker?

Rumpelstiltskin promised

the deal of a lifetime

- for whoever could bring you in.

- Deal of a lifetime?

Where all your wishes come true.

Wait a minute.

- I can still fix this.

- How you gonna do that?

You know what? I'm gonna give

Rumpelstiltskin exactly what he wants.

OK, Gingy, tell me about this...

Were you going to eat that?

Not Shrek. That is not Shrek.

Also not Shrek.

That's not even an ogre,

it is a troll! Nice try.

- And that...

- Roar.

...is just sad.

And what is that supposed to be?

I'm just a frightened old man.

Don't listen to him!

These ogres are crafty!

That is your father painted green.

No, it's Shrek! Honest!

Take them away!

Can no one bring me Shrek?!

Where is he?

How hard can it be?!

I want him! I want him! I want him!

Stiltskin!

I hear you're looking for me.

All right! Finally!

Who turned him in?

Who gets the deal of a lifetime?

- I do.

- What? But...

If I'm turning myself in,

I get the deal of a lifetime.

That means you have

to give me anything I want.

No! Only true love's kiss

can break your contract!

So if you thought you were just gonna...

...in here and get your life back...

- I'm not here to get my life back.

Then what do you want?

The ogres. They are all free.

But where is Shrek?

This is not good.

I don't know.

Not much of a storybook ending.

The noble Shrek turns himself in

to save a bunch of filthy ogres.

All that matters is that they're free...

...and Fiona is safe.

I bet Fiona would be

really touched to hear that.

But, hey...

...I guess you can tell her yourself.

Fiona!

Stiltskin, we had a deal!

You agreed to free all ogres!

Oh, yeah.

But Fiona isn't all ogre, is she?

By day, one way, by night, another.

Blardy, blardy, blar.

Nobody's smart but me!

That was a really brave thing

you did, Shrek.

Thank you.

No, you were right.

I wasn't there for you.

And not just at

the Dragon's Keep, but...

...every day since.

Well...

...you're here now.

Let go of me! I have got to save Shrek!

Don't be a fool, mule!

She's right. Rumpel's palace

is locked up tighter

- than Old Mother Hubbard's Cupboard.

- And that cupboard wasn't guarded

by a whole bunch of

mean, ugly, nasty witches.

Hey! We can hear you!

Sorry!

We must get into the palace.

Man, Shrek and me

just busted out of that place!

But how?

The same way we're gonna bust in.

Yay! My new pretty ball!

Didn't it look bigger in the catalogue?

I guess it'll have to do.

Witches, finally, the moment

we've all been waiting for.

The main event of the evening!

I present Shrek and Fiona!

And now, to put the past

behind us once and for all,

I give you a princess's worst nightmare!

Fiona's old flame,

the keeper of the keep...

...Dragon!

- Donkey?

- And Puss!

In Boots!

Get them, get them, witches!

Incoming!

- Donkey, woo her!

- Woo who?

Your wife!

Uh-oh.

I'll call you! We're in love!

Fiona, hold on!

Hey, you!

- Chimichangas?!

- Get 'em while they're hot!

Jump!

Now!

The dragon goes under the bridge!

Through the loop!

And finally...

Into the castle!

Run!

Foo!

So long!

Come on, Fifi, go!

Go! Witches, close up the floor!

Come on, Fifi, go! Flappity flap!

Come on, go! Fly away! Up, up! Go!

Fifi, no!

Victory is ours!

Looks like we're having

curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.

Hey, we make a pretty good team.

You have no idea.

Shrek?

His day is up. His day is...!

Shrek?

It's all right.

There has to be something I can do.

You've already done

everything for me, Fiona.

You gave me a home and a family.

You have kids?

We have kids.

Fergus, Farkle

and a little girl named...

...Felicia.

- Felicia.

I always wanted to have

a daughter named Felicia.

And someday...

...you will.

You know what the

best part of today was?

I got the chance to fall in love

with you all over again.

Fiona, the sunrise!

You're still... an ogre!

- True love's form.

- Impossible!

The kiss worked.

What?!

Fifi!

Puss!

No, no, no!

No, not yet! I'm not ready! No, wait!

I love you, Daddy!

Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

Everybody, I have found another cake!

Shrek? Are you OK?

Fiona. I've never been better.

Roar!

Happy Birthday, Farkle.

Fergus, my little man!

And Felicia, sweetheart.

I believe this is yours.

Thank you, Daddy.

Hey, Uncle Shrek! How about

giving my babies an encore!

Please, seor, let us have it!

- I didn't know we could do that.

- That's my best friend!

You know, I always thought

that I rescued you

from the Dragon's Keep.

You did.

No. It was you that rescued me.

Yummy!

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*[/spoiler]

Well, [nation=short]salaxalans[/nation]. This. Is. A. Wall. Of. Text.

If I ever catch you complaining about the lenght of my posts again, I will be very displeased...

And, yes, I still remember you gave me an "don't post walls of text"-comment.

If you don't give [nation=short]russinadia[/nation] one, hell will soon be considered a nice place.

A very nice place.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

Alekseandrea wrote:Well, [nation=short]salaxalans[/nation]. This. Is. A. Wall. Of. Text.

If I ever catch you complaining about the lenght of my posts again, I will be very displeased...

And, yes, I still remember you gave me an "don't post walls of text"-comment.

If you don't give [nation=short]russinadia[/nation] one, hell will soon be considered a nice place.

A very nice place.

It was only in response to [nation=short]parrona[/nation]. I will probably delete it just so it doesn't clutter the RMB.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Aaaand it's gone. That's enough of that.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Russinadia wrote:It was only in response to [nation=short]parrona[/nation]. I will probably delete it just so it doesn't clutter the RMB.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

I don't care.

I WANT JUSTICE!

IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

YES! THIS SPIRITUS, NOT AMERICA!

The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

*everything rushes back* wait a second... holy *bleep* my wife friggin sealed some of my memories off and did all of this!!!!! this is my wife guys. the terrifying dragon goddess. she is the only one able to seal memories off in my head, close to forgetting things

Faulknation

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

That's pretty weird [nation=short]culveria[/nation]

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

Russinadia wrote:YES! THIS SPIRITUS, NOT AMERICA!

JUSTICEEEE!

MUST!

PREVAIL!

Matrixulated

Russinadia wrote:*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

That's pretty weird [nation=short]culveria[/nation]

*kicks [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation] in the a##* STOP MOONING PEOPLE!!!

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

I'm only mooning [nation=short]parrona[/nation]

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

i will call your mother!!!!

The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

MY MOTHER DOESN'T EXIST!

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

*snaps my fingers and the mother of [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation] appears*

The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

That's not real.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

yes it is, *@Russinadias mother slaps him upside the head and drags him by the ear to his room and grounds him*

Thank you for deleting the post, [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation]. :P

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Russinadia

Culveria wrote:yes it is, *@Russinadias mother slaps him upside the head and drags him by the ear to his room and grounds him*

*breaks free and runs away*

I WAS A TEST TUBE BABY!

The Salaxalans wrote:Thank you for deleting the post, [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation]. :P

Your welcome. I just wanted it there for a little bit, it was just too big.

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

yeah but still needed an egg and all that *stomps on [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation]*

and where does the egg come from?

The Salaxalans wrote:Thank you for deleting the post, [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation]. :P

*Alekseandrea's left eye starts twitching*

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Alekseandrea wrote:*Alekseandrea's left eye starts twitching*

you okay?

The Salaxalans, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Culveria wrote:you okay?

*The twitching intensifies.*

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

okay ill fix this *gouges out [nation=short]Alekseandrea[/nation] s eyes*

Faulknation

NEVER!

*curls up into a ball*

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Culveria wrote:okay ill fix this *gouges out [nation=short]Alekseandrea[/nation] s eyes*

WHAAAGGGhG!

WHY AaAAeEeEEEEEAAAGH!

*Alekseandrea fainted*

The Salaxalans, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Alekseandrea wrote:WHAAAGGGhG!

WHY AaAAeEeEEEEEAAAGH!

*Alekseandrea fainted*

do i get my experience now?

The Salaxalans, Faulknation

Culveria wrote:and where does the egg come from?

It was artificially created. No humans were used in my creation.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Russinadia wrote:It was artificially created. No humans were used in my creation.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

im gonna kick your arse!!! *mega kicks [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation]*

Culveria wrote:im gonna kick your arse!!! *mega kicks [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation]*

Ma' glorious derrière! It is probably going to bruise in an hour or so!

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

Alekseandrea wrote:WHAAAGGGhG!

WHY AaAAeEeEEEEEAAAGH!

*Alekseandrea fainted*

Drags [nation=short]alekseandrea[/nation] away to a safe bush. You'll be fine here.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

da**it! STOP THAT!!! *cartwheel kicks [nation=short]Russinadia[/nation]*

*rubbing head*

Ouch, all you have to do is not look when the moon is full.

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Alekseandrea wrote:*Alekseandrea's left eye starts twitching*

Alekseandrea wrote:*The twitching intensifies.*

It's an anime thing . . . he's about to erupt so back off!

M.

* moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation] *

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

...yeah, no.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Survivors Of California, Parrona

HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK! HAK!

CLICK! HAK! Hak?

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated

The Salaxalans wrote:...yeah, no.

Spudly's post got suppressed?

What did that simpleton do now?

M.

* adds post *

and . . .

* moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation] *

The Salaxalans, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea

Jack Daniels & Coke.

Sorry about that.

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated

* adds post *

* adds post *

and....

* moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation] *

and....

* adds post *

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

add ouit

Matrixulated

*adds vodka*

Oppa!

Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud wrote:Jack Daniels & Coke.

Sorry about that.

Sorry about what?

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

*Shakes head and facepalms looking at RMB*

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

Alekseandrea wrote:Sorry about what?

I made a drunken-post that was a bit lairy.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:*Shakes head and facepalms looking at RMB*

Welcome to the New World dis-Order.

Spam-happy, vacuous, and b-b-b-boring.

Mooning included!

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea

The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud wrote:I made a drunken-post that was a bit lairy. . .

Boys will be boys.

You Muppet!

M.

The Salaxalans, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea

Alekseandrea wrote:Sorry about what?

Nah, he's just sorry all over.

And all over my bathroom tiles.

And all over my front steps.

M.

The Salaxalans, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:*Shakes head and facepalms looking at RMB*

Yes, my old friend.

It is what it is.

M.

The Salaxalans, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Masylvana wrote:*adds vodka*

Oppa!

Really?

I thought "Oppa!" was a Greek thing when they smash the Ouzo.

Vodka too?

M.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

GET OFF MY LAWN.

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

The Grumpy Grandpa wrote:GET OFF MY LAWN.

Did anyone say they were either attempting to get on your lawn, or were already there? - No...

**JZJ and his hordes burrow through the dirt half a mile down; under Grumpy Grandpa's lawn**

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Hak! Click!

Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:Did anyone say they were either attempting to get on your lawn, or were already there? - No...

**JZJ and his hordes burrow through the dirt half a mile down; under Grumpy Grandpa's lawn**

Under his lawn?? Hmmmm... I guess that's technically okay... And maybe Grandpa won't even hear them! :P

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

The Salaxalans wrote:Under his lawn?? Hmmmm... I guess that's technically okay... And maybe Grandpa won't even hear them! :P

That's age-ist!

How dare you imply that he's deaf?!

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Cyrtes

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:Did anyone say they were either attempting to get on your lawn, or were already there? - No...

**JZJ and his hordes burrow through the dirt half a mile down; under Grumpy Grandpa's lawn**

*GRABS SHOTGUN*

*BEGINS DIGGING INTO THE EARTH*

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Cyrtes, Faulknation

Hak kah Hak?

Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

The Grumpy Grandpa wrote:*GRABS SHOTGUN*

*BEGINS DIGGING INTO THE EARTH*

*takes Gramp's distraction as a signal to go camping once again*

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Survivors Of California, Faulknation, Parrona

Post self-deleted by Parrona.

The Grumpy Grandpa wrote:*GRABS SHOTGUN*

*BEGINS DIGGING INTO THE EARTH*

*starts scattering spores*

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Grumpy Grandpa, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Hoo-ahh!

[nation=short]The Grumpy Grandpa[/nation] is back with his infamous shotgun in hand, and it's game on!

Good hunting, OGG!

M.

The Salaxalans, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Grumpy Grandpa, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Hak! Hak! Hak!

Parrona wrote:*starts scattering spores*

Matrixulated

Matrixulated wrote:Hoo-ahh!

[nation=short]The Grumpy Grandpa[/nation] is back with his infamous shotgun in hand, and it's game on!

Good hunting, OGG!

M.

Hunting the most dangerous game...

Does GG hold hunting safaris for rich people?

It would be very American.

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Grumpy Grandpa, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Alekseandrea wrote:Hunting the most dangerous game...

Does GG hold hunting safaris for rich people?

It would be very American.

I bet he holds hunts on islands hunting the most cunning, evasive, and daring game because he has gotten bored of hunting normal animals.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Grumpy Grandpa, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Faulknation

*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Russinadia wrote:I bet he holds hunts on islands hunting the most cunning, evasive, and daring game because he has gotten bored of hunting normal animals.

Considering how dangerous GG can be, that wouldn't surprise me.

Hell, for all we know he may be digging into the earth in order to hunt magma worms.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Russinadia

Russinadia wrote:*moons [nation=short]parrona[/nation]*

Hak! Hak! Hak!

Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

I reached 1 billion citizens!

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Russinadia, Radical Rights Of The People

Istanialand wrote:I reached 1 billion citizens!

*claps really slow*

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Radical Rights Of The People, Faulknation

The current WA General Assembly proposal is probably the closest one I have ever seen.

Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Radical Rights Of The People wrote:The current WA General Assembly proposal is probably the closest one I have ever seen.

It was bound to happen that a proposal with such little differences between the for and against voters.

It is a statistic certainty that if t goes to infinity the chance of anything that's possible of happening goes to one.

(If you don't understand this, start studying statistics. It is more usefull than you think. If properly used, mind. There are enough examples of poorly used statistics in every commercial break.)

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Matrixulated wrote:Hoo-ahh!

[nation=short]The Grumpy Grandpa[/nation] is back with his infamous shotgun in hand, and it's game on!

Good hunting, OGG!

M.

CHEERS.

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

Alekseandrea wrote:Hunting the most dangerous game...

Does GG hold hunting safaris for rich people?

It would be very American.

Masylvana wrote:Considering how dangerous GG can be, that wouldn't surprise me.

Hell, for all we know he may be digging into the earth in order to hunt magma worms.

* It's wabbit season! *

[nation=short]the grumpy grandpa[/nation] needs to go get some wabbits, and maybe a duck, or a [nation=short]Salaxalans[/nation] as well?

Then [nation=short]grumpy grandma[/nation] can make a pot of wabbit & evil alien overlord stew!

Huzzah!

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, Cyrtes

* adds post *

* moons [nation=short]Parrona[/nation] *

* hak hak hak *

* adds post *

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

The Grumpy Grandpa wrote:*GRABS SHOTGUN*

*BEGINS DIGGING INTO THE EARTH*

*Waits for Grumpy Grandpa*

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:*Waits for Grumpy Grandpa*

**Just as Grumpy Grandpa manages to get to about 1300ft down, refocuses the focal point of my omnipresence to levitating above GG's lawn, and manifests popcorn**

Matrixulated

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:**Just as Grumpy Grandpa manages to get to about 1300ft down, refocuses the focal point of my omnipresence to levitating above GG's lawn, and manifests popcorn**

**Removes all ladders and rope from the area**

Matrixulated

Post self-deleted by Darkweb.

Cyrtes wrote:*takes Gramp's distraction as a signal to go camping once again*

Want some of this popcorn? *Offers full bag*

Matrixulated, Cyrtes

Assembled with Dot's Region Saver.
Written by Refuge Isle.