Post Archive

Region: Spiritus

History

The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo wrote:Wherever you may Rome, you'll never find better Italian jokes and puns than these!

They may be ever Sicily, but they're still hilarious.

Pizza 1:You want a pizza me?

Pizza 2:At yeast let me explain!

What’s the difference between a pizza and my pizza jokes?

My pizza jokes can’t be topped!

What type of person doesn’t love pizza?

A weirDOUGH.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?

He pasta way.

The rough part of Italy is the spaghetto

These jokes are too cheesy.

Hey, parrona is this format better than making multiple posts?

The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo wrote:Sorry, no fruit.

then you could say youre food business has been fruitless

did my pun kill everyone?

Itrosomia wrote:Hey, parrona is this format better than making multiple posts?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, finally!

Quality over quantity!

Sons Of Culveria wrote:then you could say youre food business has been fruitless

Consolidate your jokes.

Sons Of Culveria wrote:did my pun kill everyone?

No, it definitely gave me food poisoning though.

The Parron Republic wrote:Yes, yes, yes, yes, finally!

Quality over quantity!

Consolidate your jokes.

No, it definitely gave me food poisoning though.

good.

The Salaxalans wrote:Just wanted to let everyone know that I am on vacation , so I'll be posting less for a bit. Don't eat all the potatoes while I'm gone! :P

Asking us not to eat all the potatoes, is like asking Culveria not to sh¡tpost on the RMB...

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:Asking us not to eat all the potatoes, is like asking Culveria not to sh¡tpost on the RMB...

i will pickle you you microbes

Phytophthora Infestans, The Parron Republic

The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo wrote:Sorry, no fruit.

No fruit on a pizza?! - How do you make pizza without tomatoes (which are a fruit)?!

Also, should you make pizza for me, I am vegetarian...

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:No fruit on a pizza?! - How do you make pizza without tomatoes (which are a fruit)?!

Also, should you make pizza for me, I am vegetarian...

i will change you *grabs one of the infestans and shoves it into a pickle jar with a special pickling juice inside it altering and changing it making it a bit bigger then normal infestans and green and hungrier and omnivorous and starts to laugh evilly as it multiplies in number* i did it! i made a deviljho-like infestan! *releases it and it swarms out* sadly it is picky and will only eat other infestans other then its own species

Sons Of Culveria wrote:i will pickle you you microbes

We are a vegetarian microbial lifeform; you are a carnivorous monster - We inhabitat the microscopic world; you inhabit the vastly larger macroscopic world - Why should you even notice or care for our existence or lack thereof?! - We should not be even something that enters into your consciousness...

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:We are a vegetarian microbial lifeform; you are a carnivorous monster - We inhabitat the microscopic world; you inhabit the vastly larger macroscopic world - Why should you even notice or care for our existence or lack thereof?! - We should not be even something that enters into your consciousness...

im a business monster, if there is gain to be had then i will exploit it

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:Asking us not to eat all the potatoes, is like asking Culveria not to sh¡tpost on the RMB...

'xactly.

Sons Of Culveria wrote:i will pickle you you microbes

Ahhhhh!

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:No fruit on a pizza?! - How do you make pizza without tomatoes (which are a fruit)?!

Also, should you make pizza for me, I am vegetarian...

:)

Sons Of Culveria wrote:i will change you *grabs one of the infestans and shoves it into a pickle jar with a special pickling juice inside it altering and changing it making it a bit bigger then normal infestans and green and hungrier and omnivorous and starts to laugh evilly as it multiplies in number* i did it! i made a deviljho-like infestan! *releases it and it swarms out* sadly it is picky and will only eat other infestans other then its own species

The Parron Republic seizes some of the organisms belonging to a group called the "Phytophthora Infestans" in order to protect it.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Phytophthora Infestans, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:No fruit on a pizza?! - How do you make pizza without tomatoes (which are a fruit)?!

Also, should you make pizza for me, I am vegetarian...

Excluding vegetables that are actually fruits.

*makes a margarita pizza*

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Phytophthora Infestans, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

The Parron Republic wrote:'xactly.

Ahhhhh!

:)

The Parron Republic seizes some of the organisms belonging to a group called the "Phytophthora Infestans" in order to protect it.

alright whos next to be pickled with the deviljho pickling juice?

Sons Of Culveria wrote:i will change you *grabs one of the infestans and shoves it into a pickle jar with a special pickling juice inside it altering and changing it making it a bit bigger then normal infestans and green and hungrier and omnivorous and starts to laugh evilly as it multiplies in number* i did it! i made a deviljho-like infestan! *releases it and it swarms out* sadly it is picky and will only eat other infestans other then its own species

*You fail to grasp a single one of the infinite number of [nation=short]Phytophthora Infestans[/nation], and everything you have dreamed up in the above post, proves to be a giant hallucination induced by breathing us in*

You forget that the last time we met on this RMB long ago, we became vastly more than the normal microbial lifeform we were to begin with, under the influence of yourself, Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Potatogion, amongst others - We are forever outside your grasp...

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Itrosomia, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:*You fail to grasp a single one of the infinite number of [nation=short]Phytophthora Infestans[/nation], and everything you have dreamed up in the above post, proves to be a giant hallucination induced by breathing us in*

You forget that the last time we met on this RMB long ago, we became vastly more than the normal microbial lifeform we were to begin with, under the influence of yourself, Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Potatogion, amongst others - We are forever outside your grasp...

upgrading yourself with my own power you are forever within my grasp, for no matter how much you change it to try and make it your own, it is mine to control

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:*You fail to grasp a single one of the infinite number of [nation=short]Phytophthora Infestans[/nation], and everything you have dreamed up in the above post, proves to be a giant hallucination induced by breathing us in*

You forget that the last time we met on this RMB long ago, we became vastly more than the normal microbial lifeform we were to begin with, under the influence of yourself, Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Potatogion, amongst others - We are forever outside your grasp...

and it seems like Avians are the main, carriers of your kind...

...and I slapped Culveria once...

...you know what that means?

Phytophthora Infestans

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:No fruit on a pizza?! - How do you make pizza without tomatoes (which are a fruit)?!

Aren't tomatoes vegetables in the vegetable subsection "fruit?"

Phytophthora Infestans

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:*You fail to grasp a single one of the infinite number of [nation=short]Phytophthora Infestans[/nation], and everything you have dreamed up in the above post, proves to be a giant hallucination induced by breathing us in*

You forget that the last time we met on this RMB long ago, we became vastly more than the normal microbial lifeform we were to begin with, under the influence of yourself, Jedi-Zombi Jezus, and Potatogion, amongst others - We are forever outside your grasp...

Murlocs are also ancient being that produce hallucinations when licked. For us, however, the vision is usually that of being mauled by an angry murloc.

Phytophthora Infestans

Mrglglglgland wrote:Aren't tomatoes vegetables in the vegetable subsection "fruit?"

NO ONE KNOWS OKAY?!?!? tamaters are tamaters

Mrglglglgland wrote:Murlocs are also ancient being that produce hallucinations when licked. For us, however, the vision is usually that of being mauled by an angry murloc.

wanna get pickled into a megabeast like part deviljho?

Mrglglglgland wrote:Aren't tomatoes vegetables in the vegetable subsection "fruit?"

Fruit is not a subsection of vegetables.

Mrglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglgl

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Phytophthora Infestans, The Parron Republic, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Sons Of Culveria wrote:wanna get pickled into a megabeast like part deviljho?

*drinks the pickling juice*

KREEEEEE!!!

Itrosomia wrote:Fruit is not a subsection of vegetables.

Mrglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglglgl

tomatoes are fruits!

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Phytophthora Infestans, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Tainted Xenoblood Hive wrote:*drinks the pickling juice*

KREEEEEE!!!

uhhh *eyes widen watching the xenoblood* sh!t

*runs* everyone run!!!

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Phytophthora Infestans, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Sons Of Culveria wrote:NO ONE KNOWS OKAY?!?!? tamaters are tamaters

Actually...

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/explore/is-a-tomato-a-fruit-or-a-vegetable

Tomatoes are scientifically a fruit and called a vegetable in cooking.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Sons Of Culveria wrote:*runs* everyone run!!!

We do not run; we don't have legs - We do however float in and out of existence, out of phase, over all time and space, over all the multiverses, by pure will...

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:We do not run; we don't have legs - We do however float in and out of existence, out of phase, over all time and space, over all the multiverses, by pure will...

everyone edible run... wait im not edible *sits* lets watch this thing do its work *has several other vats of the deviljho mutagen sealed away somewhere else

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Phytophthora Infestans, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:We do not run; we don't have legs - We do however float in and out of existence, out of phase, over all time and space, over all the multiverses, by pure will...

*starts eating the infinite infestans*

Matrixulated

Sons Of Culveria wrote:everyone edible run... wait im not edible *sits* lets watch this thing do its work *has several other vats of the deviljho mutagen sealed away somewhere else

*eyes a pickle dragon hungrily*

Matrixulated

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:We do not run; we don't have legs - We do however float in and out of existence, out of phase, over all time and space, over all the multiverses, by pure will...

Come, let me take you on a ride... *smears my right hand with agar from a petri dish*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:*runs* everyone run!!!

Stop your immature behavior... *slaps Culveria with my right hand*

Phytophthora Infestans

Tainted Xenoblood Hive wrote:*starts eating the infinite infestans*

Exterminatus ordered on the tyra galaxy...

Awaiting confirmation...

Launching phoenix missiles...

Target no longer exists in this timeline...

...

Tainted Xenoblood Hive wrote:*eyes a pickle dragon hungrily*

no!

The Parron Republic wrote:Come, let me take you on a ride... *smears my right hand with agar from a petri dish*

Stop your immature behavior... *slaps Culveria with my right hand*

*slaps him back*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:no!

*slaps him back*

*eyes the agar hungrily*

KREEEEEE!!!

*runs and eats the agar off of parrona hand*

Tainted Xenoblood Hive wrote:*starts eating the infinite infestans*

You cannot eat us, you can barely perceive us, and only when we choose to allow you to...

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Tainted Xenoblood Hive wrote:*eyes the agar hungrily*

KREEEEEE!!!

*runs and eats the agar off of parrona hand*

*steps away from parrona and grabs a stray murloc and drags it off into a lab*

The Parron Republic wrote:Come, let me take you on a ride... *smears my right hand with agar from a petri dish*

Stop your immature behavior... *slaps Culveria with my right hand*

We do not need a ride in agar, or on your hand, but we can be wherever you choose to go...

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Phytophthora Infestans wrote:You cannot eat us, you can barely perceive us, and only when we choose to allow you to...

Click click krr

(Xenoblood shave the highest level of perceiving things of all creatures of all time. We will perceive you no matter what abilities you use. If you are being hunted by a Tainted Xenoblood you will not escape it)

Post self-deleted by The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo.

The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo wrote:*makes linguine and starts flinging it everywhere*

what are you doing you buffoon?

Tainted Xenoblood Hive wrote:Click click krr

(Xenoblood shave the highest level of perceiving things of all creatures of all time. We will perceive you no matter what abilities you use. If you are being hunted by a Tainted Xenoblood you will not escape it)

*Slips out of your observable and perceptible universe*

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:what are you doing you buffoon?

Sorry, my very very evil fratello sabatoges my account.

I would never actually waste linguine like that.

*makes more and very carefully serves it to everyone*

*makes vegetarian and carnivore options*

Mrglglglgland, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

ive finished with my newest creation @Mrglglgland guess what? *lever appears beside me and theres a big titanium door on the wall behind me*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:ive finished with my newest creation [nation=short]Mrglglglgland[/nation] guess what? *lever appears beside me and theres a big titanium door on the wall behind me*

*narrows eyes*

Spudghetti?

Matrixulated, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo wrote:*narrows eyes*

Spudghetti?

yes spudghetti is a monster of this place

The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Why would you make spaghetti out of potatoes?

Spaghetti is the most stereotypical Italian food.

When people see me they think SPAGHETTI.

Linguine is far superior.

People like you are the reason that Italians cannot go anywhere without hearing people with horrible Italian accents.

I despise those people.

Matrixulated, Mrglglglgland, The Parron Republic, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo wrote:Why would you make spaghetti out of potatoes?

Spaghetti is the most stereotypical Italian food.

When people see me they think SPAGHETTI.

Linguine is far superior.

People like you are the reason that Italians cannot go anywhere without hearing people with horrible Italian accents.

I despise those people.

i apologize, dangit im not waiting anymore *pulls the lever opening the titanium door releasing a giant mutated deviljho-murloc*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:i apologize, dangit im not waiting anymore *pulls the lever opening the titanium door releasing a giant mutated deviljho-murloc*

So a murloc is just a pointy frog?

Matrixulated

Sons Of Culveria wrote:i apologize, dangit im not waiting anymore *pulls the lever opening the titanium door releasing a giant mutated deviljho-murloc*

*shoves it aside and reveals a storm telathia*

This is cooler.

Itrosomia wrote:So a murloc is just a pointy frog?

sorta. but this has been deviljhoified

Itrosomia wrote:*shoves it aside and reveals a storm telathia*

This is cooler.

hmm *grabs it and drags the telethia into my lab*

*watches as entire cities are sucked into the telethia made storm*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:hmm *grabs it and drags the telethia into my lab*

*watches as the telethia teleports away*

Good telethia!

*pats its head*

Culveria have you seen Saltats?

They are amazing.

Itrosomia wrote:*watches as the telethia teleports away*

gr *grabs it and puts chains on it that seal its abilities away* you stay! *turns into a bigger dragonoid so its easier to handle the thing and drags it and puts it into a vat of the deviljho mutagen*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:gr *grabs it and puts chains on it that seal its abilities away* you stay! *turns into a bigger dragonoid so its easier to handle the thing and drags it and puts it into a vat of the deviljho mutagen*

*drains the tank*

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

*uses my power to speed up the process of its mutation*

Itrosomia wrote:*drains the tank*

dont touch! *swats his hand and makes the liquid go back into the thing*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:*uses my power to speed up the process of its mutation*

Uses my power to stop the proccess*

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:dont touch! *swats his hand and makes the liquid go back into the thing*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:dont touch! *swats his hand and makes the liquid go back into the thing*

*drains it again*

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:Uses my power to stop the proccess*

why are you interfering!? *throws him out of my lab and continues*

*teleports the telethia into my vault*

No!

Bad culveria!

No treats for you!

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Itrosomia wrote:*drains it again*

*seals the vat and put the liquid back in* even touching the liquid triggers the mutation boy, and it can never be fully stopped

Sons Of Culveria wrote:why are you interfering!? *throws him out of my lab and continues*

This telethia is sacred to me.

It shall not be tainted by your mad science.

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic

Post self-deleted by Sons Of Culveria.

Itrosomia wrote:This telethia is sacred to me.

It shall not be tainted by your mad science.

*growls* fine make it with a saltat instead *summons a saltat and shoves it into the vat and keeps it under*

Sons Of Culveria wrote:*seals the vat and put the liquid back in* even touching the liquid triggers the mutation boy, and it can never be fully stopped

*repairs the telethias DNA to normal*

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Sons Of Culveria wrote:*growls* fine make it with a saltat instead *summons a saltat and shoves it into the vat and keeps it under*

😭

Itrosomia wrote:😭

you cant expect me not to try the mutagen on different creatures can you? *pulls it out and throws it cleansing it of the mutagens influence*

Itrosomia wrote:😭

bring me something acceptable

Sons Of Culveria wrote:*growls* fine make it with a saltat instead *summons a saltat and shoves it into the vat and keeps it under*

Just don't touch any of the tyrants.

Itrosomia wrote:Just don't touch any of the tyrants.

the whats?

Sons Of Culveria wrote:bring me something acceptable

*summons a raging simius*

There.

These are cool.

Sons Of Culveria wrote:the whats?

They are the exceptionally strong ones that have special abilities like Zohan, the Thunderbolt and Sheldon, the Dentally Challenged.

Sons Of Culveria wrote:bring me something acceptable

*throws in a Duoguill*

I hate those things. They are really strong.

Itrosomia wrote:*summons a raging simius*

There.

These are cool.

*grabs it up in one giant clawed hand* this shall do *pricks it with one of my claws which is sedating and it quickly falls asleep and i put it into a tube of the mutagen and set it down letting it mutate*

Itrosomia wrote:*throws in a Duoguill*

I hate those things. They are really strong.

*picks up the duoguill and sedates it and puts it into another tube of the mutagen*

Itrosomia wrote:They are the exceptionally strong ones that have special abilities like Zohan, the Thunderbolt and Sheldon, the Dentally Challenged.

interesting. dentally challenged? does that one use his bad breath?

Sons Of Culveria wrote:*picks up the duoguill and sedates it and puts it into another tube of the mutagen*

interesting. dentally challenged? does that one use his bad breath?

He has no teeth.

Itrosomia wrote:He has no teeth.

im guessing he doesnt use bite attacks?

Itrosomia wrote:He has no teeth.

alright im going to take you through a room i have one of each creature from the xenoblade universe, humanoids and non, and you tell me which i can use and which i cant *opens door to a long line of giant tubes holding various creatures and humanoids all sedated and asleep in the tubes*

The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo wrote:*makes more salted meats*

Here you go.

Psst! Keep supplying the salted, smoked, preserved and processed red meats! Maybe Culveria and his deviljhos will all die with high blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease, and eventually heart attacks...

The Magic Pizza Pizzaiolo wrote:*brings out the infinite buffet of Italian food including prosciutto, brachiola, meatloaf, salami, ossobuco, bruschetta, mortadella, bresaola, copocollo, etc.*

Well done!

Matrixulated, Mrglglglgland, Phytophthora Infestans, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Sons Of Culveria wrote:im guessing he doesnt use bite attacks?

He actually does but it does like no damage and he just latches on.

Matrixulated

Statens wrote:Oh lord.

Yes?!

Consigahria, The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Statens, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Sons Of Culveria wrote:alright im going to take you through a room i have one of each creature from the xenoblade universe, humanoids and non, and you tell me which i can use and which i cant *opens door to a long line of giant tubes holding various creatures and humanoids all sedated and asleep in the tubes*

Don't use saltats, telethias, sphinxes, or (Xenoblood shoutout)the tainted.

Everything else is fine.

Matrixulated

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:Psst! Keep supplying the salted, smoked, preserved and processed red meats! Maybe Culveria and his deviljhos will all die with high blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease, and eventually heart attacks...Well done!

Are you suggesting that my meats are mechanically processed?

Each of my meats is hand made!

No cannoli for you!

*slaps his hand*

*serves everyone else cannoli and gelato*

Matrixulated, Itrosomia, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:Yes?!

Omg I love you 😂

Consigahria, The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

The Parron Republic wrote:I can say the same...

Compliments are always the way to go! I hope I made those people smile.

That's my goal.

To make everyone around me smile.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

Statens wrote:Omg I love you 😂

Bless you my child!

Consigahria, The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Statens, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

Spotted this...

Regional Happenings:

20 hours ago: Lemongrass ceased to exist in Spiritus.

Now, my Jedi-Zombi hordes had a nice meal there, but how the hell will Spiritus ever make Thai food again?!

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Phytophthora Infestans, The Parron Republic, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:Spotted this...

Regional Happenings:

20 hours ago: Lemongrass ceased to exist in Spiritus.

Now, my Jedi-Zombi hordes had a nice meal there, but how the hell will Spiritus ever make Thai food again?!

Someone will replant them, right?

The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Phytophthora Infestans, The Flying Spudghetti Monster

The Parron Republic wrote:I can say the same...

As for me... *starts blowing a trumpet* ...its mine after all.

Your best post EVERRRR!

T-shirt material.

LshIpsm!

M.

Statens, The Parron Republic

Itrosomia wrote:So a murloc is just a pointy frog?

That's sooooo frog-ist and completely insensitive!

You horrible inmurloc lump of lard!

M.

Mrglglglgland, The Parron Republic

Nuclear Apocalypse Imminent

by Max Barry

Tue, 28 Mar 2017

One thing I think we should all be proud of is that no two democracies on NationStates have ever gone to war with each other. Or two nations of any type. No matter how great our differences, we've always been able to resolve them through diplomacy and compromise, as opposed to a violent emptying of nuclear arsenals that endangers all life on the planet.

We should appreciate this while we can.

Nuclear apocalypse begins in:

61 42 20

))))))))))

We all know what this is, after all, you're not a downer, are you?

#AF2017

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus

The Parron Republic wrote:Nuclear Apocalypse Imminent

by Max Barry

Tue, 28 Mar 2017

One thing I think we should all be proud of is that no two democracies on NationStates have ever gone to war with each other. Or two nations of any type. No matter how great our differences, we've always been able to resolve them through diplomacy and compromise, as opposed to a violent emptying of nuclear arsenals that endangers all life on the planet.

We should appreciate this while we can.

Nuclear apocalypse begins in:

61 42 20

))))))))))

We all know what this is, after all, you're not a downer, are you?

#AF2017

A nuclear apocalypse, huh?

Knowing this RMB... April Fool's 2017 is gonna be a good one.

Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Phytophthora Infestans, The Parron Republic

Legendus wrote:A nuclear apocalypse, huh?

Knowing this RMB... April Fool's 2017 is gonna be a good one.

I won't be able to participate saturday.

And I had SO many nukes in storage...

Matrixulated

Alekseandrea wrote:I won't be able to participate saturday.

And I had SO many nukes in storage...

Who needs nukes, when you have tachyon lances.

Legendus wrote:A nuclear apocalypse, huh?

Knowing this RMB... April Fool's 2017 is gonna be a good one.

The Parron Republic is justifying war on Culveria.

Matrixulated, Alekseandrea

Suddenly, televisions across Spiritus (with the exception of some higher-level advanced security systems) flicker to the face of new Consigahrian Prime Minister K. T. Benjamin Davis XII. Wearing a suit, the rather chubby man speaks solemnly, his eyes like molten, convecting blue syrup through narrow slits on either side of his button nose, and it seems he's on every channel. He seems troubled about something, apparent even before he begins to speak.

"Please excuse the interruption. This broadcast is from Consigahria--it won't take long; your regularly scheduled programming will resume momentarily. I hate to be the bearer of bad news (for some), but we have an interregional nuclear war imminent, predicted by the World Operatives' Division headquartered in Vermillion City, Consigahria. We have, more or less, 58 hours: please prepare your nations--instruct your citizens to take cover underground if they are able, and to take six months' worth of imperishable food and bottled water, and to prepare for outbreaks of zombie viruses and other weapons of biological warfare.

"We have the ability to accept the entirety of Spiritus' populations within our borders--we have plenty of hospitals, hotels, temples, and shelters that reach miles underground into a network of underground cities which are currently sparsely populated; in this event, it's unavoidable that our underground cities will swell and become temporarily cramped, but we have prepared for this and are in the process of delivering humanitarian aid in those directions. However, some families will choose to avoid the underground cities because high population density means a higher crime rate; understandingly, in the case that underground isn't an option, we must urge tourists and immigrants alike to travel as far inland as they are able, because the temperature of Consigahrian nights tends to plummet in winter and spring. We are temporarily lifting the ban on immigration, and all borders international and interterritorial are open to those coming in. However, international borders going out are closed, and airports and interregional public transportation are shutting down.

"To those whom it may concern, please be advised that martial law is in effect in Consigahria, and following last year's earthquakes, the crime rate has been rising. Please plan accordingly. Please do not travel without weapons or travel alone, and keep a close eye on your children. Please do not threaten or challenge the Consigahrian National Armada--they have orders to keep peace at all costs. Families who will seek refuge in Consigahria are encouraged to read our NSWiki article section on martial law.

Thank you."

Another voice speaks overhead with the logo of Lee-Raine Arms; a caption above the logo reads "sponsored by".

* (Additionally, several Consigahria-based arms manufacturing companies are selling nuclear warheads and accessories at discount prices--get yours now!) *

Televisions which were off turn off again; and other televisions return to normal.

Matrixulated, Mrglglglgland

Just letting you guys know, <-<

we have anti-missile buildings just for this purpose.

And missile silos disguised as many things in my top five most populous cities.

I'm setting it OFF.

Matrixulated

Assembled with Dot's Region Saver.
Written by Refuge Isle.