Post Archive
Region: Spiritus
*Uses Xcom 1's plot armour to force the surrender of world powers*
*negotiates with smaller states for loyalty for the rights to the stars and protection*
Alright, back to canon.
(named city is copied from somewhere as a joke)
[spoiler= Fall of Nutfall ]
Loyalist forces have stormed and taken Nutfall, the largest city in the Hawttany region. The naval base at Sun's End Spaceport, former headquarters of the Reipublika's Fleet, has also fallen.
According to witnesses, beleaguered Eakiran reinforcements retreated to Invader's Folly, where they continued to offer stubborn resistance until they were subjected to an intense artillery and orbital bombardment. With this port under its control, the fall of the Reipublika seems imminent.
[/spoiler]
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
Wha...? Your still in Xcom 1?
Move on already.
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
*WINS THE WAR*
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic
The pain all i know is the pain
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea
Try using lube.
M.
Pixelpark, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Endless Sumer, The Parron Republic, Auztraalia, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes, Blazedtopia
*uses one cyclonic torpedo on alternate earth*
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
O.O
W....T....F....?
Huzzahhh-we need an adult!
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, Endless Sumer, Auztraalia, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes, Blazedtopia
*dumps oil on the three of them*
*lights them on fire*
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Endless Sumer, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes, Blazedtopia
So do I.
It hurts if I read i.
I is supposed to be I, not i.
It's always I, never i.
Now that I told you that you should use I,
I will be very dissapointed if you use i.
i is just wrong.
And then I haven't said anything about your punctuation.
You know why?
Because there isn't any.
And that's bad.
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic, Blazedtopia
*REKS UR SH!T SOME MORE*
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
Help I need poll idea. :P
Matrixulated
Top Iconic K-Pop songs.
Top Types of horror movie victims.
Top Magic anime.
Top Shades of green.
Top Celebrity atheists.
Preferably choose the one that Watchmojo hasn't done yet.
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Blazedtopia
How many Spiritians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Wirendosan, Blazedtopia
Zzzzzzszsszzzzzz.
0, maaaaaagggiiiic
0, we hire foreigners
(need help with the rest of the options)
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, Endless Sumer, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes
None.
We don't use light bulbs.
We use bioluminescent potatoes.
M.
Pixelpark, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Endless Sumer, The Parron Republic, Auztraalia, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes
How are my fellow defenders doing this morning? ‽
Matrixulated, Pixelpark, Alekseandrea
I believe that 47 would be the optimal number, but with 42 we should succeed in our endeavor and get the light bulb into the socket
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea
42; is the answer to everything;
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, Endless Sumer, Auztraalia, The Twelve Tribes
Translation into proper English:
42 is the answer to everything.
While the punctuation of this statement leaves something to be desired, the meaning is indeed correct.
Matrixulated, Pixelpark, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, Endless Sumer, Auztraalia, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes
It is a wonderful; book.
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, Blazedtopia
0, we use sacrificial blobs of lard.
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Endless Sumer, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes
*crashes airplane into WTC*
Matrixulated, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya
*WINS THE WAR AGAIN??*
*CRASHES AIRPLANE INTO UR MOM*
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, Paxica Culverus
Operative p0660n666_Relmskreig disconnected
Matrixulated, Blazedtopia
GET REKT, PROBABLY?
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic, Paxica Culverus
Post self-deleted by Blazedtopia.
Post self-deleted by Blazedtopia.
Post self-deleted by Blazedtopia.
*Launches a super potato towards the sun with potato partical beam gun* Now that's how you screw in a lightbulb :-D
Matrixulated, Burnttoaster66
Stop talking to yourself.
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Endless Sumer, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes
If Trump carries on, soon we'll all be back in the Stone Age, and Bronze Age nations like mine will look like magicians...
Matrixulated, Pixelpark, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Al-Dawla Al-Islamiya, The Twelve Tribes, Blazedtopia
Server_5p1r1tu5 Crashed.
Matrixulated, Pixelpark, Blazedtopia
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR MODERN JARGON AS I WAS BORN IN 1901 AND WAS ALREADY IN THE TWILIGHT OF MY LIFE WHEN THE INTERNET WAS CREATED.
Matrixulated, The Parron Republic, Blazedtopia
Post self-deleted by The Jedi-Zombi Jezus.
So you're 116 years old? - The Grim Reaper called - He's really pissed you keep avoiding him...
Matrixulated, Great British Federation, Eurasian Alliance, The Grumpy Grandpa, Alekseandrea, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, Endless Sumer, The Parron Republic, Auztraalia, The Twelve Tribes, Yuwen Empire, Blazedtopia
I don't either, I have a translator though.
Matrixulated, Blazedtopia
I AM AWARE.
UH... GOOD ON YOU?
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Parron Republic, Blazedtopia
[sup]Short Announcement from the Parronan Brotherhood[/sup]
This is Citizen Joshua, I am your new Citizen-Secretary, a coup against the traitor Kelvin is successful and he has been arrested for corruption and interior peace has been restored, now I urge my fellow citizens to focus on the bigger, external threat, the loyalist government. I will also reject any proposal giving me emergency powers, for that goes against the ideas of the revolution.
OOC: Honest Socialists, that's rare.
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Great Potato Empire, The Twelve Tribes, Blazedtopia
Post self-deleted by Bearenwald.
Hello everyone! You seemed like a cool group so I joined after hunting for a good region to plant Bearenwald in. I used to play this in high school now I'm back for the nostalgia, and also something else to look at while I'm at work haha. Is your discord active? I'm a big gamer. Grüezi!
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, Yuwen Empire, Blazedtopia
Post self-deleted by Blazedtopia.
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Endless Sumer
I'll invent agriculture, pottery, advanced metallurgy, and hemp paper, you invent electricity, someone will make refrigeration and we'll be sipping cold beers and eating icecream soon enough!
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus
Okay time for a new poll! Any ideas?
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea
Best Bathtub Toy Ever!
Rubber Ducky
Novelty Soap
G.I. Joe
Aquaman
Something that's waterproof, that's battery powered and vibrates.
The Shower Head
Lego Blocks
Rubber Dingy
Potato
M.
Great British Federation, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Eurasian Alliance, Alekseandrea, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, The Parron Republic, Auztraalia, Blazedtopia
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Eurasian Alliance, Alekseandrea, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, The Parron Republic, Auztraalia, Blazedtopia
Post self-deleted by The Jedi-Zombi Jezus.
The Lord Jedi-Zombi Jezus Christ hereby announces the "retirement" of the following puppet nations:-
▪The Dark Norse - Currently my oldest surviving nation, and former tribute to my (IRL) late Danish grandmother...
▪[nation=short]The Nether Regions[/nation] - Former WA nation (and my main representative) in the region of Europe...
They have been inactive 9 days now; in the coming weeks they will CTE, be reabsorbed into the vat system, to then be reborn as just another part of the Jedi-Zombi Jezuit hordes...
n.b. The Lord Jedi-Zombi Jezus Christ reserves the right to create new nations, and retire (or ressurrect) old ones, and though has admitted the existence of further "puppet" nations, will not publish an extensive and complete list of all of them...
Matrixulated, Great British Federation, Eurasian Alliance, Alekseandrea, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, The Parron Republic, Blazedtopia
Puppets? That's my job, oi!
Ah well.
Option 10, Real life battleship
Option 11, garlic butter bread
Option 12, 1 armed torpedo
Matrixulated, Great British Federation, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Eurasian Alliance, Alekseandrea, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan
I uh... I might leave one of those out. :P
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Endless Sumer, The Twelve Tribes
Potato?
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea
*crashes WH40K size battleship to crash into earth*
Matrixulated
HERETIC!
Everyone should know lego doesn't belong in the bathtub!
Matrixulated, The Parron Republic, The Twelve Tribes
Barbie Dolls.
Matrixulated
Poll answer: Model Egyptian chariots, horses, & soldiers, + 1 Moses action figure...
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Parron Republic
"Realistic", "life-sized", and made of silicon, plastic, and/or rubber?!
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea
What a terrible poll! - I don't take baths! - I stay clean by sheer fact that I don't always inhabit a corporeal body restricted to the limited, linear existence of a being confined to the known dimensions of this Universe, but when I do sheer might and power of the Force keeps that pesky filth away! - I walk on water, I don't get in it!
Otherwise, I am a hyper-dimensional, non-corporeal sentient entity of pure energy, and unlimited power!
Also: Toys?! - Playthings?! - I have EVERYTHING!!
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Great British Federation, Eurasian Alliance, Alekseandrea, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, Endless Sumer, The Parron Republic
I love playing Battleship!
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Eurasian Alliance, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, The Parron Republic
Sorry -I don't get what you mean.
I voted in the poll "other" and provided my answer like it said.
Barbie Dolls were the only toy I had on a bath so I couldn't answer with any other.
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, Endless Sumer
Food was the odd one out, the only obvious one.
Maybe...wait...
Option 13, real FTL capable Cruiser
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, Endless Sumer
Rubby ducky, you're the one...
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated
Hey, guys! Great news! Now that I'm back in school, I can be on eeeevery day!
Matrixulated
I have no doubt you have had much "fun" with your "rubby ducky".
On another subject, isn't it strange how quote marks can make even the most innocuous word seem obscene?
Matrixulated, Endless Sumer, The Parron Republic
Woe is my neurons...
Wait, start up the processing facilities, we're having roast walruses!
Matrixulated, The Twelve Tribes
Mmmmmmm!
Matrixulated
Are walruses kosher?
Matrixulated, The Parron Republic
Don't know about Kosher . . . but I'm gorram positive they ain't low-cal, cholesterol free, or low-fat menu options!
M.
Alekseandrea, The Parron Republic, The Twelve Tribes
Ummm...
*Puts on fireproof suit*
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Twelve Tribes
You make me feel hungry.
Can you inhume walruses with math?
I'm capable of using Laplace transformations.
Matrixulated
Not going to matter, wait, I need to check something...
Thank you for the reminder, we first pull off the lard, and make stock with the bones!
The lard could be used as fuel, do we even still have old generators from before planet unification?
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Twelve Tribes
Just . . . brutal!
Bravo!
Itrosomia, you've been pwned!
roflcopterz & lollerskates!
M.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea
* WHOOSH! *
That's the sound of your glorious post going over the collective heads of Spiritans as we say, "Huh?"
M.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Parron Republic, Blazedtopia
*gets knocked unconscious by said post*
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea
*puts walrus suit on parrona*
*puts on parrona suit*
Hey! Let's cook this walrus!
By the way, there is a buy one get one free sale at Tim's all purpose suits!
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, Blazedtopia
Welcome to our region, [nation=short]gaddian[/nation]!
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Gaddian
Thanks!
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
Here,
*hands you a potato*
Your complementary spiritus potato!
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
Who else is online?
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated
Imposter! Heresy! Fie on you and your homeworld! It's getting the harsh treatment!
*makes gesture with my right hand with the palm facing inwards, index and middle finger pointing upwards and forming a V*
(inaudible command)
Voice from background: shcg##...sta##...syand by...
Preparing to exterminate all organic lifeforms and pacify non compliant synthetics in sector ZKKAS-0569...
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea
Hey, look!
It's itrosomia pretending to be me!
Let's roast him alive!
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic
I take this Potato with pride
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Blazedtopia
I agree. Roasted walrus tastes cool. Hold on...
(Searches Google for roasts)
Ha! Here's one: You're kinda like Repunzel, except instead of ;eating your hair down you let down everyone in you're life!
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated
#TYPOLYFE
I meant letting not ;eating
The Salaxalans, Matrixulated, The Parron Republic
Yay potatoes. :P
Welcome [nation=short]Gaddian[/nation] and others just joining!
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, Blazedtopia
Matrixulated
hello
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, Blazedtopia
Hello there! Welcome to spiritus!
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
*looks behind Insomnia*
Wait, you don't have processing factories and blorg concentration camps, you don't have the terminal illness that is the Dual-government nor suffer its side-effects!
You are a pretesnjznsnc...
*gets knocked unconscious by blunt object wielded by a Parronan Hegemony captain*
Matrixulated, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
Post self-deleted by Blazedtopia.
Great to see more nations joining! =D
*Starts throwing potato's towards the endzone*
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic
I hate to spoil the celebrations, but Spiritus used to have 300-ish nations.
Now it has 275...
The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic
270 really....[nation=short]Itrosomia[/nation] counts as 5 nations 'cos he's so lardge!
(no, not a typo)
M.
The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic
I count as five because...Dual-government.and civil war!
*connection lost*
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud
It's 272 now.
Perhaps we'll be regress to the mean?
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic
LOL I just got the issue about chewing gum while chewing gum IRL.
Matrixulated, Alekseandrea, The Botched Pejazzle Of The Studly Spud, The Parron Republic, Yuwen Empire
**Unloads a shipment of potatoes🥔 from our American territories**
Matrixulated, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Eurasian Alliance, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, The Parron Republic
Post self-deleted by Eurasian Alliance.
**Seizes these potatoes on behalf of the People of Spiritus - Makes Eurasian Vodka**
**Hands out loaves of bread🍞**
Matrixulated, Great British Federation, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Eastazia, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, The Parron Republic
**Unloads shipment of fresh caught tuna and salmon🐟**
Matrixulated, Great British Federation, The Jedi-Zombi Jezus, Eurasian Alliance, Animal Farmerica, Greater Brazilistan, The Parron Republic, Blazedtopia
[spoiler= Archival Drone U5082 ]
Alright everyone, maybe we could negotiate a compromise, so we could end this war that cost us dearly.
That's an understatement, many has lost more than us, for what!? Our agenda? This war will have to end soon before the phoenix burns for eternity.
Yes, but I will only agree if the human worlds have the autonomy they deserve.
I say, chase the humans out! It is Parrona's planets after all! We lost our greatness since we tolerated your presence! I will make Parrona strong again!
I dare say, that Parrona is split between the shattered crown, the rusty hammer, the bloody jackboot and the greedy humans, the first is stuck in outdated traditions, the second is weak, the third, has been willing to bomb cities to the ground, and the last, fueled by wants and needs of primates, selfish desires!
*click*
This conversation is over, sadly, you brought melee weapons to a gun fight.
You brought a gun to a knife fight!
*gun firing*
To think you would kill your fellow citizens! What's more over a table!
He is a disgrace to Parrona, quick...
*drone shot down*
[/spoiler]
Matrixulated
Assembled with Dot's Region Saver.
Written by Refuge Isle.